READ THIS NOW! /Assertiveness/Transformation/Recovery

READ THIS NOW! /Assertiveness/Transformation/Recovery

Tuesday is school day, and this lesson was on assertiveness. My headline goes beyond assertive, it would be considered aggressive. Not a good style!

Each and every one of us should reflect on assertive. It is a key to really finding your life’s purpose and spiritually awakening. It is a skill every life coach should incorporate into their client work. I liked the definition of assertiveness as acting to get what wants while respecting the rights of others.

In all the areas I coach in, and the area I love to work in, mentoring clients affected by addictions, assertive is a skill all clients need to know, and put in to practice.

Many I have worked with understand two basic reactions to a problem-fight (be aggressive) or flight (be passive/hide). Somewhere in between is healthy behavior, being assertive, and it is a learned skill that gets better with practice.

I firmly believe that to be properly assertive, you must have a reasonable level of self-esteem. This is an area I really work with clients on, and through a well proven process. With out self esteem, it is likely not realistic for an individual to be properly assertive.

Cautions, never equate good self esteem as ego, and never equate assertiveness with aggression!

There are 10 Rules of Assertion that were taught to us today. They are wonderful, and I will gladly share them with anyone who contacts me directly, either by email or through my web site.

Being properly assertive is a great communication skill. It lets people know in a non offensive way what you think or feel. It makes clear what is required and allows an individual to politely say no-something many have trouble with.

When it comes to addiction recovery, I had to learn to say “no” to a lot of things over and above the substances and behaviors I was addicted to. I had to learn to recognize my own success as they happened, and reward myself in a healthy way. I had to learn to quit basing my positions on what others may think and learn that I had a right to an opinion and a right to be wrong and alter my opinions; and to express these things in an assertive, non disrespectful or offensive way.

I can attest, these were learned skills, they were not skills I had all on my own.

As I began to assert myself, I found resistance from some people in my life. I was exhibiting new behavior, and there is a natural resistance to behaviors that are new. Over time, I found people were pleased because they could clearly understand where I was coming from. I was pleased because I wasn’t bullying or being a wilting flower.

I have learned to take responsibility for my behavior and actions, and realize the key to my own happiness is me, not you. What a wonderful discovery!

One of my classmates gave a truism; we have to learn to pick up a mirror, not a magnifying glass, as we deal with people, places and things!!

Aren’t you glad you read this now? Did you not find a few things that may apply to your life?

I will move forward respecting that I have the right to be assertive, and so do you.

Interested in the 10 Rules of Assertion or learning how to assert you properly, feel free to get in touch!