AM I ADDICTED?
AM I ADDICTED?? (A Test)
As a “Certified Addictions Life Coach” I have several tests available to me to help you answer the question. What I think is unimportant; all that matters is the conclusions you draw.
Rather than reinvent the wheel, I am quoting material from Jan Edward Williams which I completely support. While Jan specifically mentions alcohol, by and large that word is interchangeable with any addiction (drugs, gambling, sex, eating, and many more). Keep this in mind as you read through this material and answer questions honestly. Only you will know the results!
First of all, I commend you for making the decision to address your alcohol problem. By acknowledging that your drinking is causing you problems, you have broken through a lot of the denial that prevents people from getting help. Let me just define alcoholism for you. Many alcoholics do not drink every day and are not physically dependent on alcohol (will have cravings and withdrawal when they stop). It is sometimes not as important how often (frequency) a person drinks, as what happens when the person drinks. Not drinking for a month or longer, while commendable, merely means that you are not physically dependent on alcohol. Physical dependence is not required for a definition of alcoholism. A pattern of loss of control, blackouts, behaviour against values, and self-destructive behaviours, plus a high tolerance, strongly suggests that you may be one of those people who, though a periodic drinker and not physically dependent, may have to conclude that she is an alcoholic and that drinking is not a viable option. I do not have enough information (do you have a family history of alcohol problems?) to say that you cannot learn to moderate your drinking, but urge you to get a complete evaluation from an addictions professional, rather than look to find a program to moderate your drinking. There is a program for persons WHO ARE NOT ALCOHOLIC to help them moderate their drinking, but I hesitate giving you this information because from what you have said you may already be in the alcoholic category, as offensive as that idea may be. Good luck to you. .
A common misconception is that in order for a person to have a problem with AOD, he or she must use every day, and must physically crave the substance. Often problem users drink or use other drugs only two-to-three times per week. The best question is not "Do I have to drink?”, or, "Can I stop using marijuana during the week?", but, "Is my substance use causing me problems in important areas of my life?"
Here are some more danger signs.
• Alcohol, depression and/or drug problems in parents, grandparents, or other close family members.
• Tolerance, need for more to achieve intoxication or the desired effect.
• Blackouts, gaps in memory for what happened while using.
• Loss of control, difficulty stopping once started, or inability to control frequency of use.
Here are some specific Questions which explore how AOD use can harm an individual in significant life areas:
• Has substance use hurt your work performance, or academic performance, if in school?
• Have any of your friends said they were worried or concerned about your use or your behaviour while using?
• Has substance use caused any tension in relationships with important people in your life, such as a spouse, boy or girl friend, or roommates?
• Has your behaviour while using caused you any social embarrassment or hurt your reputation?
• Has your AOD use caused you to do things that go against your value system?
• Do you use AOD even though advised not to because of a medical condition (for example, ulcer, diabetes, or being on medication for depression)? Have you due to AOD use gotten into legal trouble (e.g., DWI, disorderly conduct, drug charges).
• Have you ever had an injury, or been to the ER, or hospitalized due to AOD use?
• Have you ever gotten into any fights while using?
• Do you often drive a car knowing you would flunk a sobriety test if caught?
• Have you ever been to see a counsellor or therapist where part of the problem related to AOD use?
A "Yes" to any of these questions is cause for concern and indicates the person may be developing a harmful relationship with alcohol or other drugs.
Please feel free to contact me through this site, phone email or Skype for a no cost, no risk discussion.
Monday, January 16, 2012
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
सेल्फ-एस्टीम 2012
2012-Mission to Improve Self-esteem
To be of service to others, I do a lot of reading and research. Original thinking is fine but what I know and coach originated from others.
The biggest issues I help others to come to grips with are related to self-esteem. Today I share writing from Francine Ward, a lady I wish I had as a coaching client!
“Self-esteem comes from honouring your healing journey
My life is not perfect. I make a lot of mistakes. Sometimes, I stumble and fall. I am a work in progress. And when I remember that simple fact, I am better for the experience.
It's easy to start on a path of change and get so busy doing what we need to do that we forget to stop, breathe, and acknowledge the effort we've already made. We forget to honour our own healing journey. There are times when I have to be reminded to do for myself what I do for others. The other day, a friend caught me denigrating the work I put into a project because it wasn't done perfectly. When she asked how it was coming along, I said, "I can't seem to get it down perfectly. It's horrible." I then spent ten minutes - which was as long as she could tolerate my ranting - downplaying the work I had put into the project so far. She couldn't believe she was listening to me. "You could be one of your own clients," she said. And how right she was. I needed to be coached at that moment in time. And after our conversation, I called my coach.
Healing is hard work. It takes great effort to stay on a path that leads to purposeful self-discovery. It takes energy - persistent energy - to be an active participant in the creation of our lives. A healing path requires having the courage to shine a light or allow a light to shine on parts of ourselves that we'd rather keep private. It means having the courage to see the work that still needs to be done. Honouring our healing journey invites us to appreciate the effort that has been made.
It's important to heal and to honour the work done.”
What a great message, a message from someone who truly understands the path to achieving healthy self-esteem and one who appreciates the important role a coach plays.
Want to achieve more in your life in 2012 and live the life you were meant to? Get over your scepticism and give coaching a try! Contact me without obligation!
To be of service to others, I do a lot of reading and research. Original thinking is fine but what I know and coach originated from others.
The biggest issues I help others to come to grips with are related to self-esteem. Today I share writing from Francine Ward, a lady I wish I had as a coaching client!
“Self-esteem comes from honouring your healing journey
My life is not perfect. I make a lot of mistakes. Sometimes, I stumble and fall. I am a work in progress. And when I remember that simple fact, I am better for the experience.
It's easy to start on a path of change and get so busy doing what we need to do that we forget to stop, breathe, and acknowledge the effort we've already made. We forget to honour our own healing journey. There are times when I have to be reminded to do for myself what I do for others. The other day, a friend caught me denigrating the work I put into a project because it wasn't done perfectly. When she asked how it was coming along, I said, "I can't seem to get it down perfectly. It's horrible." I then spent ten minutes - which was as long as she could tolerate my ranting - downplaying the work I had put into the project so far. She couldn't believe she was listening to me. "You could be one of your own clients," she said. And how right she was. I needed to be coached at that moment in time. And after our conversation, I called my coach.
Healing is hard work. It takes great effort to stay on a path that leads to purposeful self-discovery. It takes energy - persistent energy - to be an active participant in the creation of our lives. A healing path requires having the courage to shine a light or allow a light to shine on parts of ourselves that we'd rather keep private. It means having the courage to see the work that still needs to be done. Honouring our healing journey invites us to appreciate the effort that has been made.
It's important to heal and to honour the work done.”
What a great message, a message from someone who truly understands the path to achieving healthy self-esteem and one who appreciates the important role a coach plays.
Want to achieve more in your life in 2012 and live the life you were meant to? Get over your scepticism and give coaching a try! Contact me without obligation!
Mission To Improve Self-esteem?
Mission To Improve Self-esteem?
2012-Mission to Improve Self-esteem
To be of service to others, I do a lot of reading and research. Original thinking is fine but what I know and coach originated from others.
The biggest issues I help others to come to grips with are related to self-esteem. Today I share writing from Francine Ward, a lady I wish I had as a coaching client!
“Self-esteem comes from honouring your healing journey
My life is not perfect. I make a lot of mistakes. Sometimes, I stumble and fall. I am a work in progress. And when I remember that simple fact, I am better for the experience.
It's easy to start on a path of change and get so busy doing what we need to do that we forget to stop, breathe, and acknowledge the effort we've already made. We forget to honour our own healing journey. There are times when I have to be reminded to do for myself what I do for others. The other day, a friend caught me denigrating the work I put into a project because it wasn't done perfectly. When she asked how it was coming along, I said, "I can't seem to get it down perfectly. It's horrible." I then spent ten minutes - which was as long as she could tolerate my ranting - downplaying the work I had put into the project so far. She couldn't believe she was listening to me. "You could be one of your own clients," she said. And how right she was. I needed to be coached at that moment in time. And after our conversation, I called my coach.
Healing is hard work. It takes great effort to stay on a path that leads to purposeful self-discovery. It takes energy - persistent energy - to be an active participant in the creation of our lives. A healing path requires having the courage to shine a light or allow a light to shine on parts of ourselves that we'd rather keep private. It means having the courage to see the work that still needs to be done. Honouring our healing journey invites us to appreciate the effort that has been made.
It's important to heal and to honour the work done.”
What a great message, a message from someone who truly understands the path to achieving healthy self-esteem and one who appreciates the important role a coach plays.
Want to achieve more in your life in 2012 and live the life you were meant to? Get over your scepticism and give coaching a try! Contact me without obligation!
2012-Mission to Improve Self-esteem
To be of service to others, I do a lot of reading and research. Original thinking is fine but what I know and coach originated from others.
The biggest issues I help others to come to grips with are related to self-esteem. Today I share writing from Francine Ward, a lady I wish I had as a coaching client!
“Self-esteem comes from honouring your healing journey
My life is not perfect. I make a lot of mistakes. Sometimes, I stumble and fall. I am a work in progress. And when I remember that simple fact, I am better for the experience.
It's easy to start on a path of change and get so busy doing what we need to do that we forget to stop, breathe, and acknowledge the effort we've already made. We forget to honour our own healing journey. There are times when I have to be reminded to do for myself what I do for others. The other day, a friend caught me denigrating the work I put into a project because it wasn't done perfectly. When she asked how it was coming along, I said, "I can't seem to get it down perfectly. It's horrible." I then spent ten minutes - which was as long as she could tolerate my ranting - downplaying the work I had put into the project so far. She couldn't believe she was listening to me. "You could be one of your own clients," she said. And how right she was. I needed to be coached at that moment in time. And after our conversation, I called my coach.
Healing is hard work. It takes great effort to stay on a path that leads to purposeful self-discovery. It takes energy - persistent energy - to be an active participant in the creation of our lives. A healing path requires having the courage to shine a light or allow a light to shine on parts of ourselves that we'd rather keep private. It means having the courage to see the work that still needs to be done. Honouring our healing journey invites us to appreciate the effort that has been made.
It's important to heal and to honour the work done.”
What a great message, a message from someone who truly understands the path to achieving healthy self-esteem and one who appreciates the important role a coach plays.
Want to achieve more in your life in 2012 and live the life you were meant to? Get over your scepticism and give coaching a try! Contact me without obligation!
Monday, January 9, 2012
2012
A NEW YOU IN 2012?
READY FOR CHANGE?
Here we are, 9 days in to a new year and most things back to normal. By now, a majority of people who have made resolutions have broken them
As you looked at a new year, what changes have you committed to make in how you live? More importantly, how are you going to make them? What has held you back?
Winston Churchill once said, “I’m always ready to learn, although I don’t always like being taught.” Can you relate?
A reminder to myself every January (and most days) is that I have no power over certain people, places and thinks and long ago I accepted completely that this includes alcohol, drugs and certain other behaviours (habits). As long as I keep this at the forefront, within reason my life has remained manageable.
I did not achieve this way of life on my own and had much help along the way. Over the past nearly two decades, I have had the good fortune to coach others and help them find the ability to make major change within themselves.
Do you want a new you in key areas of your life this year? Are you ready for change?
I am a change catalyst; please feel free to contact me in confidence.
READY FOR CHANGE?
Here we are, 9 days in to a new year and most things back to normal. By now, a majority of people who have made resolutions have broken them
As you looked at a new year, what changes have you committed to make in how you live? More importantly, how are you going to make them? What has held you back?
Winston Churchill once said, “I’m always ready to learn, although I don’t always like being taught.” Can you relate?
A reminder to myself every January (and most days) is that I have no power over certain people, places and thinks and long ago I accepted completely that this includes alcohol, drugs and certain other behaviours (habits). As long as I keep this at the forefront, within reason my life has remained manageable.
I did not achieve this way of life on my own and had much help along the way. Over the past nearly two decades, I have had the good fortune to coach others and help them find the ability to make major change within themselves.
Do you want a new you in key areas of your life this year? Are you ready for change?
I am a change catalyst; please feel free to contact me in confidence.
Monday, November 21, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Self-Esteem Recovery
How Do I Recover Healthy Self-Esteem?
As a senior manager in the work place, self-esteem is often an issue with employees as they advance in their careers; particularly those new to management roles.
As a coach, this self-esteem is an issue I deal with with every client. I have never had an exception. It makes a guy wonder what happened along the trail, and also wonder what happened first, lousy self-esteem or addiction?
My personal esteem
The place I always start to look is at my own personal circumstance. Being a recovering addict and also a senior manager, I have had to gain some insight along the way.
I was brought up in what most would have thought to be a very comfortable home. I was healthy, reasonably bright and didn’t want for too much materially. Yet, for a reason I now understand, I never felt that I was good enough nor did I feel that I measured up to the expectation of “others”. If a reasonably sound upbringing left me like this, I can easily understand how those with a less fortunate childhood can have self-esteem issues.
7 tips for self-esteem building
Some basic how to “overcome” actions for me (and for many of my clients) included:
1. Use positive affirmations.
I went to, and I send clients to, the few people in life a person can really trust. Positive “I am……….” statements are obtained from these honest sources, such as “Keith is a truly caring person”. Four or five are lots. Put them on a recipe card and tape the card to your favorite mirror. Initially you won’t believe; do the work and you’ll know them to be true.
2. Spend quiet time everyday.
If you can learn how to shut your mind down, divorced of brain chatter, interesting things (positive) will be revealed to you.
3. Journal daily .
Get those good thoughts and negatives externalized. You’ll be shocked how they look on paper. Set some goals, dare to dream some good dreams.
4. Get outside help .
Everybody needs a mentor. You need a “trusted confidant” in your life, one who you respect and admire, who has walked the road and come out in sunshine; it may not necessarily be some one you like or know well..
5. Right size yourself.
Learn that you are not the center of the universe and in the big picture, not all that important. Find that proverbial power greater than you that you can build a trusting relationship with.
6. Give yourself credit.
Make sure you give yourself credit for all your successes, no matter how big or small. It is far too easy to focus on failures.
7. Set some small achievable goals.
Baby steps will carry you on a journey and the journey never starts without a first step. When you hit a goal, give yourself a small reward, maybe a small pat on the back.
Think about it. You were born with a purpose, and that purpose was positive. It still is. Each of us in our own small way have something to offer. If you learn to believe in you, achieve healthy self-respect, your world will be a much brighter place to live in and so will be the world of every person you have contact with!
As a senior manager in the work place, self-esteem is often an issue with employees as they advance in their careers; particularly those new to management roles.
As a coach, this self-esteem is an issue I deal with with every client. I have never had an exception. It makes a guy wonder what happened along the trail, and also wonder what happened first, lousy self-esteem or addiction?
My personal esteem
The place I always start to look is at my own personal circumstance. Being a recovering addict and also a senior manager, I have had to gain some insight along the way.
I was brought up in what most would have thought to be a very comfortable home. I was healthy, reasonably bright and didn’t want for too much materially. Yet, for a reason I now understand, I never felt that I was good enough nor did I feel that I measured up to the expectation of “others”. If a reasonably sound upbringing left me like this, I can easily understand how those with a less fortunate childhood can have self-esteem issues.
7 tips for self-esteem building
Some basic how to “overcome” actions for me (and for many of my clients) included:
1. Use positive affirmations.
I went to, and I send clients to, the few people in life a person can really trust. Positive “I am……….” statements are obtained from these honest sources, such as “Keith is a truly caring person”. Four or five are lots. Put them on a recipe card and tape the card to your favorite mirror. Initially you won’t believe; do the work and you’ll know them to be true.
2. Spend quiet time everyday.
If you can learn how to shut your mind down, divorced of brain chatter, interesting things (positive) will be revealed to you.
3. Journal daily .
Get those good thoughts and negatives externalized. You’ll be shocked how they look on paper. Set some goals, dare to dream some good dreams.
4. Get outside help .
Everybody needs a mentor. You need a “trusted confidant” in your life, one who you respect and admire, who has walked the road and come out in sunshine; it may not necessarily be some one you like or know well..
5. Right size yourself.
Learn that you are not the center of the universe and in the big picture, not all that important. Find that proverbial power greater than you that you can build a trusting relationship with.
6. Give yourself credit.
Make sure you give yourself credit for all your successes, no matter how big or small. It is far too easy to focus on failures.
7. Set some small achievable goals.
Baby steps will carry you on a journey and the journey never starts without a first step. When you hit a goal, give yourself a small reward, maybe a small pat on the back.
Think about it. You were born with a purpose, and that purpose was positive. It still is. Each of us in our own small way have something to offer. If you learn to believe in you, achieve healthy self-respect, your world will be a much brighter place to live in and so will be the world of every person you have contact with!
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