CONSCIENCE-FOUND IT?

CONSCIENCE-FOUND IT?

It was a very interesting day yesterday. A day where I had a wonderful opportunity to lunch with a psychiatrist associate, then golf with a business coach I have known for years, but never had the opportunity to spend one on one time with.

Upon reflection this morning, and looking at what has made the biggest shift inside of me over the years, I think it’s hearing my conscience.

I’ve always had one; it certainly made me feel really guilty for many years because I found ways not to listen. I learned, with training and mood altering substances and behaviors, I could make this “voice” a background, always there, but suppressed. I have no doubt that in my mind I created Disneyworld. Through what I know now to be insane behavior, I moved in to Disneyworld and convinced myself it was real. Can others relate?

In 1994, I had a moment of clarity. The small quiet voice that was always there roared out, “Listen to me before you lose even more!”

And for some reason, I not only heard it, I heeded it. A journey began.

Inside all of us is a small quiet voice. Call it conscience. Call it your source. Call it your higher power. Call it whatever you want, but learn to hear it.

Today, I make sure I get quiet time as part of my day. I have learned through training and practice to stop the squirrels from running in my head, to shut down the thoughts that are unconscious ego at play. In this still time, the small, quiet voice is heard.

To escape Disneyland, I have been living in the real world, I allow myself to feel my feelings, and others taught me to identify what they are. I can deal with external and internal pain without medicating. In areas where significant decision is required, I am more patient and allow myself to hear the quiet voice inside most of the time.

This came with spiritual awakening, and a realization that for all the many years I lived a life driven by self-will and low self-esteem, that there was a higher power that dwelt within and all around me.

We all have this small quiet voice within. I have heard others talk about imaginary objects on each shoulder in constant conflict. Others call it good and bad, devil and god, and so on. I really don’t care how it is described. I’m just grateful that I learned to listen to my conscience before I went down even lower!

The journey since has been great, living in the real world certainly has its problems, but to feel and be “in the game” is what is meant to be.

Have you found that small quit voice, do you take the quiet time to listen to your conscience?

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Blogging-Why??

Blogging-Why??

I have been journaling, and posting my journal as a blog for some time. Why?

I am a member of a group of coaches who can be found at Big Life.ws, and have been part of a share group about blogging. I am trying to put into practice what others are telling me about blogging. I look for the input of any and all that read the blog.

The advice put yourself out there; let people see who you are and what you’re about! I do try to do that.

I journal as a part of my journey of recovery from multiple addictions. It allows me to externalize on the outside what is going on in the inside, and keeps garbage from building up. I try to externalize feelings and thoughts. This is for my benefit.

I post my journal publicly for a few reasons.

Being public keeps me honest. What I put out there is available to people who know and trust me. I can’t afford to BS the troops.

I know I am not unique.

What I am going through is a journey that many others are taking. I benefit from the experience, strength and hope of others, and from feedback I get, I know my blogs at times are positive to others. This is a form of service.

I have gone through a major inspection of my life over the past year. I had a unique opportunity to really explore my purpose in life, and do something that can make a meaningful difference.

I have strong people skills, a world of life, business, and recovery experience, and a desire to help others succeed. I have always been a mentor and coach to others as part of who I am.

I have gone back to school to hone my coaching and mentoring skills and to learn. I have deepened my spiritual life considerably.

There is about 10% of the population affected by addictions. Many will not seek help and will remain in denial. There are many out there who want a confidential place to identify if they have a problem, and deal with it privately. There are great treatment centers out there. I offer an option to those who want confidentiality and are prepared to work. And the option is less expensive. With Addictions, I mentor people. I do not do pure coaching. And I know what I am doing.

I also have the training and knowledge to help people transform their lives by setting goals, thinking big, and applying the talents within to achieve a more abundant life-whether it is career or personal. Spiritual-not religious- awakening and awareness is a part of this process.

So I blog from a practical standpoint as a method of attracting people to my business because they want what I offer and have a good feel of who I am.

I will continue journaling and posting as part of my recovery. I also believe I provide a much needed service to others, and welcome new clients.

So there is the why! How about some feedback? I would love to make more of a positive difference!!

POWERLESS. WHO ME?

POWERLESS. WHO ME?

I’ve got a friend going for wedding #3 tomorrow, I’m best(questionable) man, and pre-wedding golf game. Thus an early post!

It’s been a day to really think about powerlessness.

Years ago, I came to realize that I was powerless over my addictions, and my addictions had made my life unmanageable. Unmanageable to a point where I was miserable; and I was losing relationships that were near and dear to me, including my relationship with myself

Early in my journey to a better life, I could accept this.

Today, I had an opportunity to reflect on a few things. I must constantly remember that I am powerless over people, places and things. Something bigger than me is in control of the big picture. Because I have the gift of free will, I do have a large amount of power over my own actions. That’s it.

I spent great quality time with a dear friend today (we played golf). He’s got a family situation, involving the actions of an older brother, which has my friend and some other family members in a real tizzy. The situation doesn’t look pretty, but if there is any wrong doing, it was not my friend or other family members that did anything, it was an individual. I’ve learned the hard way, I am powerless over the actions of others and they can certainly make my life unmanageable. The best thing I can do for those I love is just “BE” there for them. Can you relate?

Funny how much golf and sports are like life.

I played a match against another dear friend today. I was certainly powerless over the wind, how my friend played, how the ball bounced, etc. I did have some ability to determine how I play. I was amazed at the results I got by just being there in the match, and doing the best I could with my own ball.

How many try to control the people, places and things around them to no avail? How many feel that they do wonderful things for others, but are never truly recognized? How many take responsibility for everyone around them, but will not be responsible for themselves? How many have the courage to admit that they are powerless over most things in their external life, and when they try to control them they lose hope and serenity, and ultimately their own lives become unmanageable?

A few people read the events of my journey of recovery.

I hope that a few take the time to ponder honestly some of the questions. I coach and mentor people to find answers within themselves, and am blessed that I had great people in my life who coached me to be the best I can today.

So, what are you powerless over? Worth thinking about.

Do You Do Nothing Enough?

Do You Do Nothing Enough?

I go crazy when I do nothing for extended periods of time. It can wear very thin. Very often, life is just the opposite, I do not have the time to just do nothing, and nothing can be therapeutic.

Can you relate?

Back in the “old” days being hyper active all the time, meetings, social engagements, work, etc. was a way to escape real life. I left no time to deepen my self- perception.

Most people I know have had a successful life. For me, I have not accomplished every goal I’ve set, but I am satisfied with what I have accomplished thus far in my life. Are you the same?

I have come to realize that there was a “divine plan” at work in my life, and things, good and bad, happened for a reason. My higher power has always trusted me with the gift of free will. I have not always used the gift wisely.

For a thousand reasons there are many running around constantly, never giving themselves the gift of a “time out” from life. They are trapped. And I’m always conscious that there are 1 out of 10 people out there trapped in an addiction. Actively addicted people cannot stand to look inside themselves, and when alone, feel very lonely.

Can anyone relate?

Life balance is extremely important. Taking time for you and giving yourself praise and healthy rewards is a part of good daily living. In my past, I had totally neglected this, and paid the price. To say I was tired, irritable and discontent would have been very true, and I did become sick and tired of being sick and tired. I knew what I did and what roles I was supposed to play; I had no idea of who I was inside. I became spiritually bankrupt.

Life today is more hectic than ever. Life/work balance for many is tilt, and feeling “purpose” to life is diminishing. Technology, which was supposed to make our lives easier, has made living more complex and created "24/7" people. Years ago, I had no idea what "24/7" meant.

Not good, no one is that important.

Are you searching for life balance? Do you know what it feels like? Is your spiritual life totally on the back burner? Is self-esteem slipping?

And back to the question, “Do You Do Nothing Enough?’ And if not, why not?

Think this over and share!!

READ THIS NOW! /Assertiveness/Transformation/Recovery

READ THIS NOW! /Assertiveness/Transformation/Recovery

Tuesday is school day, and this lesson was on assertiveness. My headline goes beyond assertive, it would be considered aggressive. Not a good style!

Each and every one of us should reflect on assertive. It is a key to really finding your life’s purpose and spiritually awakening. It is a skill every life coach should incorporate into their client work. I liked the definition of assertiveness as acting to get what wants while respecting the rights of others.

In all the areas I coach in, and the area I love to work in, mentoring clients affected by addictions, assertive is a skill all clients need to know, and put in to practice.

Many I have worked with understand two basic reactions to a problem-fight (be aggressive) or flight (be passive/hide). Somewhere in between is healthy behavior, being assertive, and it is a learned skill that gets better with practice.

I firmly believe that to be properly assertive, you must have a reasonable level of self-esteem. This is an area I really work with clients on, and through a well proven process. With out self esteem, it is likely not realistic for an individual to be properly assertive.

Cautions, never equate good self esteem as ego, and never equate assertiveness with aggression!

There are 10 Rules of Assertion that were taught to us today. They are wonderful, and I will gladly share them with anyone who contacts me directly, either by email or through my web site.

Being properly assertive is a great communication skill. It lets people know in a non offensive way what you think or feel. It makes clear what is required and allows an individual to politely say no-something many have trouble with.

When it comes to addiction recovery, I had to learn to say “no” to a lot of things over and above the substances and behaviors I was addicted to. I had to learn to recognize my own success as they happened, and reward myself in a healthy way. I had to learn to quit basing my positions on what others may think and learn that I had a right to an opinion and a right to be wrong and alter my opinions; and to express these things in an assertive, non disrespectful or offensive way.

I can attest, these were learned skills, they were not skills I had all on my own.

As I began to assert myself, I found resistance from some people in my life. I was exhibiting new behavior, and there is a natural resistance to behaviors that are new. Over time, I found people were pleased because they could clearly understand where I was coming from. I was pleased because I wasn’t bullying or being a wilting flower.

I have learned to take responsibility for my behavior and actions, and realize the key to my own happiness is me, not you. What a wonderful discovery!

One of my classmates gave a truism; we have to learn to pick up a mirror, not a magnifying glass, as we deal with people, places and things!!

Aren’t you glad you read this now? Did you not find a few things that may apply to your life?

I will move forward respecting that I have the right to be assertive, and so do you.

Interested in the 10 Rules of Assertion or learning how to assert you properly, feel free to get in touch!