गर्बगे रेमोवल-अरे यू रेअद्य?

GARBAGE REMOVAL-READY?

There are so many that balk along the trail at the word GOD. I was one of them because of experiences I had at the hands of people within a structured religion. As have many before me, I did have to find a Higher Power, something greater than the conscious me to get holistic recovery.
Today I can fully appreciate how spiritually bankrupt I was back in those dark days of 1994. Today I walk in the light, not of a higher power that I found in church, but one I found in me and you and all around me. I believe things do not happen by accident.
I think it is great when people find “a religion” that works for them. I’ve got Good Orderly Direction (GOD) from a higher power that works for me and for that I am grateful. When I am open, I am freely given good orderly direction in measures I had not experienced before!
Why this explanation? In my next big step, I was asked to have faith; something that was very new to me.
Were entirely ready to have god remove all these defects of character.-Step6/12 Steps
On first blush, this appeared to be a no brainer. Upon reflection, there is more to this than at first appeared.
By this stage of the journey, I had found a higher power that I could feel and even trust some. I had not had a drink or used in a while, and I had no cravings to do so. This had started to happen when I decided to turn things over.
In having god remove all my defects of character, would this not make me perfect? And I always tongue in cheek remember what happened to the only perfect person I had read about.
Upon reflection, I realized that there were none of the defects that had been identified in my recent recovery work that I would mind having removed. I could well live without them. If it were my higher powers will for me, or if I could abdicate from self- will, then that would be great. My trust level and faith were at a point I was ready. Nothing in the step says that my higher power would wave a wand and poof, all defects would be gone. Having things entirely removed is a perfect ideal. From what I had witnessed, it likely would not come to be 100%, but if it did, I was ready.
I was one of the fortunate ones. I had no defects I would not be prepared to give up. Some I know have had things they swore they would NEVER give up. Funny, in hanging on to their will so desperately, they never seemed to get the life they truly wanted.
Readiness, in practical terms, has come in stages. As the journey progresses and my conscious contact with my higher power continues to deepen and evolve, I become ready for things to change in different ways. It truly is work in progress.
As I “trudge” along this journey, I have to be conscious every day that the defects of character that are a part of me remain in some ways with me. Daily I have to be conscious. Daily I ask for them to be removed. But now I am getting ahead of myself!
For those who may be considering making huge change in their lives, always be conscious that change is a process and in my experience you have to do A before you do B, and one step builds on the success of what you have done on your trek. You have to have some faith and be well aware of defects before you can ask for them to be minimized or removed. Doing it half ass will give you half ass results! (khbray@hopesernity.ca ; www.hopeserenity.ca)