Monday, November 21, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Self-Esteem Recovery
How Do I Recover Healthy Self-Esteem?
As a senior manager in the work place, self-esteem is often an issue with employees as they advance in their careers; particularly those new to management roles.
As a coach, this self-esteem is an issue I deal with with every client. I have never had an exception. It makes a guy wonder what happened along the trail, and also wonder what happened first, lousy self-esteem or addiction?
My personal esteem
The place I always start to look is at my own personal circumstance. Being a recovering addict and also a senior manager, I have had to gain some insight along the way.
I was brought up in what most would have thought to be a very comfortable home. I was healthy, reasonably bright and didn’t want for too much materially. Yet, for a reason I now understand, I never felt that I was good enough nor did I feel that I measured up to the expectation of “others”. If a reasonably sound upbringing left me like this, I can easily understand how those with a less fortunate childhood can have self-esteem issues.
7 tips for self-esteem building
Some basic how to “overcome” actions for me (and for many of my clients) included:
1. Use positive affirmations.
I went to, and I send clients to, the few people in life a person can really trust. Positive “I am……….” statements are obtained from these honest sources, such as “Keith is a truly caring person”. Four or five are lots. Put them on a recipe card and tape the card to your favorite mirror. Initially you won’t believe; do the work and you’ll know them to be true.
2. Spend quiet time everyday.
If you can learn how to shut your mind down, divorced of brain chatter, interesting things (positive) will be revealed to you.
3. Journal daily .
Get those good thoughts and negatives externalized. You’ll be shocked how they look on paper. Set some goals, dare to dream some good dreams.
4. Get outside help .
Everybody needs a mentor. You need a “trusted confidant” in your life, one who you respect and admire, who has walked the road and come out in sunshine; it may not necessarily be some one you like or know well..
5. Right size yourself.
Learn that you are not the center of the universe and in the big picture, not all that important. Find that proverbial power greater than you that you can build a trusting relationship with.
6. Give yourself credit.
Make sure you give yourself credit for all your successes, no matter how big or small. It is far too easy to focus on failures.
7. Set some small achievable goals.
Baby steps will carry you on a journey and the journey never starts without a first step. When you hit a goal, give yourself a small reward, maybe a small pat on the back.
Think about it. You were born with a purpose, and that purpose was positive. It still is. Each of us in our own small way have something to offer. If you learn to believe in you, achieve healthy self-respect, your world will be a much brighter place to live in and so will be the world of every person you have contact with!
As a senior manager in the work place, self-esteem is often an issue with employees as they advance in their careers; particularly those new to management roles.
As a coach, this self-esteem is an issue I deal with with every client. I have never had an exception. It makes a guy wonder what happened along the trail, and also wonder what happened first, lousy self-esteem or addiction?
My personal esteem
The place I always start to look is at my own personal circumstance. Being a recovering addict and also a senior manager, I have had to gain some insight along the way.
I was brought up in what most would have thought to be a very comfortable home. I was healthy, reasonably bright and didn’t want for too much materially. Yet, for a reason I now understand, I never felt that I was good enough nor did I feel that I measured up to the expectation of “others”. If a reasonably sound upbringing left me like this, I can easily understand how those with a less fortunate childhood can have self-esteem issues.
7 tips for self-esteem building
Some basic how to “overcome” actions for me (and for many of my clients) included:
1. Use positive affirmations.
I went to, and I send clients to, the few people in life a person can really trust. Positive “I am……….” statements are obtained from these honest sources, such as “Keith is a truly caring person”. Four or five are lots. Put them on a recipe card and tape the card to your favorite mirror. Initially you won’t believe; do the work and you’ll know them to be true.
2. Spend quiet time everyday.
If you can learn how to shut your mind down, divorced of brain chatter, interesting things (positive) will be revealed to you.
3. Journal daily .
Get those good thoughts and negatives externalized. You’ll be shocked how they look on paper. Set some goals, dare to dream some good dreams.
4. Get outside help .
Everybody needs a mentor. You need a “trusted confidant” in your life, one who you respect and admire, who has walked the road and come out in sunshine; it may not necessarily be some one you like or know well..
5. Right size yourself.
Learn that you are not the center of the universe and in the big picture, not all that important. Find that proverbial power greater than you that you can build a trusting relationship with.
6. Give yourself credit.
Make sure you give yourself credit for all your successes, no matter how big or small. It is far too easy to focus on failures.
7. Set some small achievable goals.
Baby steps will carry you on a journey and the journey never starts without a first step. When you hit a goal, give yourself a small reward, maybe a small pat on the back.
Think about it. You were born with a purpose, and that purpose was positive. It still is. Each of us in our own small way have something to offer. If you learn to believe in you, achieve healthy self-respect, your world will be a much brighter place to live in and so will be the world of every person you have contact with!
Monday, January 31, 2011
BECOMING SELF AWARE
BECOMING SELF AWARE
SELF AWARE
As I went through life, I lost a sense of who I was; I was not aware of certain behaviour patterns and thought patterns that were occurring in my life.
I certainly was aware of the patterns of others that I was in frequent contact with, and as we all know, sometimes the behaviours of those we know well become predictable to us.
However, I had lost the ability to predict my own behaviour and at 46, had no idea of who I was. A very sad thing that I think many, if honest, can relate to.
As a thought provoker, I offer you an “Idea Engineer” from my coaching mentor, Randin Brons.
It was only through coaching that I was lead to a place where I truly became self aware and understood to a large degree who I was and also why I got to the place I did.
Learn to be aware
"You can live a lifetime and, at the end of it, know more about other people than you know about yourself."
-- Beryl Markham
Who am I? To answer this, we must first learn to become more aware of ourselves. To be aware, we must STOP and PAY ATTENTION! We need to STOP and objectively watch ourselves in action.
We live most of our lives by habit. These habits keep us stuck in patterns that limit our experience of life. Once we detect a pattern we were previously unconscious of, we can choose differently, if we want. With awareness comes choice and with choice, we gain freedom.
"To be authentic is literally to be your own author ..., to discover your own native energies and desires, and then to find your own way of acting on them." -- Warren G. Bennis
"Self-knowledge is the great power by which we comprehend and control our lives." -- Vernon Howard”
Simply put, if you believe you may be in a “stuck pattern”, you likely are.
If you want “authenticity” back in you life, want to understand your habits and patterns consider coaching as a start point. You may well regain choice and freedom. Don’t continue on in life without really knowing you. There is a person there that you will truly learn to love! (www.hopeserenity.ca www.coached-to-success.com )
SELF AWARE
As I went through life, I lost a sense of who I was; I was not aware of certain behaviour patterns and thought patterns that were occurring in my life.
I certainly was aware of the patterns of others that I was in frequent contact with, and as we all know, sometimes the behaviours of those we know well become predictable to us.
However, I had lost the ability to predict my own behaviour and at 46, had no idea of who I was. A very sad thing that I think many, if honest, can relate to.
As a thought provoker, I offer you an “Idea Engineer” from my coaching mentor, Randin Brons.
It was only through coaching that I was lead to a place where I truly became self aware and understood to a large degree who I was and also why I got to the place I did.
Learn to be aware
"You can live a lifetime and, at the end of it, know more about other people than you know about yourself."
-- Beryl Markham
Who am I? To answer this, we must first learn to become more aware of ourselves. To be aware, we must STOP and PAY ATTENTION! We need to STOP and objectively watch ourselves in action.
We live most of our lives by habit. These habits keep us stuck in patterns that limit our experience of life. Once we detect a pattern we were previously unconscious of, we can choose differently, if we want. With awareness comes choice and with choice, we gain freedom.
"To be authentic is literally to be your own author ..., to discover your own native energies and desires, and then to find your own way of acting on them." -- Warren G. Bennis
"Self-knowledge is the great power by which we comprehend and control our lives." -- Vernon Howard”
Simply put, if you believe you may be in a “stuck pattern”, you likely are.
If you want “authenticity” back in you life, want to understand your habits and patterns consider coaching as a start point. You may well regain choice and freedom. Don’t continue on in life without really knowing you. There is a person there that you will truly learn to love! (www.hopeserenity.ca www.coached-to-success.com )
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
रेनेविंग थे MIND
DO YOU THINK THINGS OUT?
So, you want to transform your life from where it is today to something much different, something you know inside that life should be for you.
If that be the case, do you truly think things out?
I am not a follower of any religion but have read many “great” books including the Bible. There is an interesting passage in Romans 12:2 where St. Paul says “They are transformed by the renewing of their minds”. It is the concept of renewal and transformation that really interests me.
Want a better life then there are some things that must happen.
We have to change our current thinking to thinking that reflects improved mental hygiene. We must build a new way of looking at things. In many ways we may be living an “artificial” life, we must be prepared to get real. We must learn what “normal” and “reality” really are. We must accept truths and find the courage to change.
So, I hope these thoughts give you reason to think, and you take the time to really think things out.
You can transform your life from where you are to a reality that is abundant. I have walked that path and did not walk it alone.
I don’t pretend to have all the answers. If this article causes you to think, and you’d like to chat and learn more, let’s talk. Maybe talking will help you think things out. (www.coached-to-success.com or www.hopeserenity.ca )
So, you want to transform your life from where it is today to something much different, something you know inside that life should be for you.
If that be the case, do you truly think things out?
I am not a follower of any religion but have read many “great” books including the Bible. There is an interesting passage in Romans 12:2 where St. Paul says “They are transformed by the renewing of their minds”. It is the concept of renewal and transformation that really interests me.
Want a better life then there are some things that must happen.
We have to change our current thinking to thinking that reflects improved mental hygiene. We must build a new way of looking at things. In many ways we may be living an “artificial” life, we must be prepared to get real. We must learn what “normal” and “reality” really are. We must accept truths and find the courage to change.
So, I hope these thoughts give you reason to think, and you take the time to really think things out.
You can transform your life from where you are to a reality that is abundant. I have walked that path and did not walk it alone.
I don’t pretend to have all the answers. If this article causes you to think, and you’d like to chat and learn more, let’s talk. Maybe talking will help you think things out. (www.coached-to-success.com or www.hopeserenity.ca )
Friday, January 21, 2011
FISHING POLE
FISHING POLE
FISHING POLE-FOOD FOR LIFE
Yesterday, I had posted something that asked for input and answers to a couple of specific questions. I am still looking for more input, and thanks to those of you who did respond.
I got one great reminder and I have to remember it, and it may be a great reminder for you to.
I love to help people. I can be guilty at times of trying to “fix” their surface problem. This depends on the “role” I am playing in the person’s life. The great reminder was a parable.
If a person is hungry, give them a fish and they will be fed today. Give them a fishing rod and they will be fed for life. (Not an exact quote for those who are perfectionists)
This, in its way, talks about holistic change.
I was given some fish way back when, and I was OK for the short hall. Eventually someone took the time to understand me, show me how to construct and use a fishing rod, and now, when I take action, I am no longer hungry.
I guess I want to be in the fishing pole business. I hate giving away fish over and over!
(www.hopeserenity.ca) (www.coached-to-success.com) Need a fishing pole?
FISHING POLE-FOOD FOR LIFE
Yesterday, I had posted something that asked for input and answers to a couple of specific questions. I am still looking for more input, and thanks to those of you who did respond.
I got one great reminder and I have to remember it, and it may be a great reminder for you to.
I love to help people. I can be guilty at times of trying to “fix” their surface problem. This depends on the “role” I am playing in the person’s life. The great reminder was a parable.
If a person is hungry, give them a fish and they will be fed today. Give them a fishing rod and they will be fed for life. (Not an exact quote for those who are perfectionists)
This, in its way, talks about holistic change.
I was given some fish way back when, and I was OK for the short hall. Eventually someone took the time to understand me, show me how to construct and use a fishing rod, and now, when I take action, I am no longer hungry.
I guess I want to be in the fishing pole business. I hate giving away fish over and over!
(www.hopeserenity.ca) (www.coached-to-success.com) Need a fishing pole?
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
लाइफ ओं थे मेर्री-गो-ROUND
LIFE ON THE MERRY-GO-ROUND
I’m generally not a computer pack rat, and tend to keep my inbox, sent and so on with little stuff in them. That being said, every now and again I hold on to something which I’ve read and intuitively know it is going to be very real on an upcoming day.
Below is something I received back in very early September. I was aware that it was there, and in talking with a couple of clients today, it reminded me to look back and share.
Once again the passage happens to be from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and dates back to the late 1930’s, but funny, it is as true today as it was back then.
For those many, who do not have a problem with drinking, substitute any issue you want following the words “most basic problem: my ____________ and myself.
“Merry-go-round”
“I began to feel like a clown juggling too many balls.
Each ball represented a problem I was keeping up in the air.
My arms were weary and I knew I couldn't keep on much longer, but I was not about to give up. My pride and ego wouldn't let me.
Bosses, judges, co-workers, lawyers, car notes, bar tabs, loan sharks, utility payments, landlords, my girlfriend, people I had double-crossed --
I looked to all these as the source of my problems, while overlooking the most basic problem: my drinking and myself.
I'd known for a long time that I desperately wanted off this merry-go-round, but I had no idea how to do it.” - Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 506
I do well remember when personally, and certainly talked with a couple of people today, who could have had the same quote, give or take a word or two! Can you relate to the passage?
If you can relate, want to get off the “Merry-go-round” that is your life today, but don’t know how, please get in touch. I have been fortunate to work with hundreds of others who after a conversation have found some answers to the question how- and there is no one size fits all. Please feel free to get in touch here or through khbray@hopeserenity.ca. It may just be time you spend that helps you to know how to get off your merry-go-round permanently. (On www.coached-to-success.com or www.hopeserenity.ca)
I’m generally not a computer pack rat, and tend to keep my inbox, sent and so on with little stuff in them. That being said, every now and again I hold on to something which I’ve read and intuitively know it is going to be very real on an upcoming day.
Below is something I received back in very early September. I was aware that it was there, and in talking with a couple of clients today, it reminded me to look back and share.
Once again the passage happens to be from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and dates back to the late 1930’s, but funny, it is as true today as it was back then.
For those many, who do not have a problem with drinking, substitute any issue you want following the words “most basic problem: my ____________ and myself.
“Merry-go-round”
“I began to feel like a clown juggling too many balls.
Each ball represented a problem I was keeping up in the air.
My arms were weary and I knew I couldn't keep on much longer, but I was not about to give up. My pride and ego wouldn't let me.
Bosses, judges, co-workers, lawyers, car notes, bar tabs, loan sharks, utility payments, landlords, my girlfriend, people I had double-crossed --
I looked to all these as the source of my problems, while overlooking the most basic problem: my drinking and myself.
I'd known for a long time that I desperately wanted off this merry-go-round, but I had no idea how to do it.” - Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 506
I do well remember when personally, and certainly talked with a couple of people today, who could have had the same quote, give or take a word or two! Can you relate to the passage?
If you can relate, want to get off the “Merry-go-round” that is your life today, but don’t know how, please get in touch. I have been fortunate to work with hundreds of others who after a conversation have found some answers to the question how- and there is no one size fits all. Please feel free to get in touch here or through khbray@hopeserenity.ca. It may just be time you spend that helps you to know how to get off your merry-go-round permanently. (On www.coached-to-success.com or www.hopeserenity.ca)
LIFE ON THE MERRY-GO-ROUND
LIFE ON THE MERRY-GO-ROUND
LIFE ON THE MERRY-GO-ROUND
I’m generally not a computer pack rat, and tend to keep my inbox, sent and so on with little stuff in them. That being said, every now and again I hold on to something which I’ve read and intuitively know it is going to be very real on an upcoming day.
Below is something I received back in very early September. I was aware that it was there, and in talking with a couple of clients today, it reminded me to look back and share.
Once again the passage happens to be from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and dates back to the late 1930’s, but funny, it is as true today as it was back then.
For those many, who do not have a problem with drinking, substitute any issue you want following the words “most basic problem: my ____________ and myself.
“Merry-go-round”
“I began to feel like a clown juggling too many balls.
Each ball represented a problem I was keeping up in the air.
My arms were weary and I knew I couldn't keep on much longer, but I was not about to give up. My pride and ego wouldn't let me.
Bosses, judges, co-workers, lawyers, car notes, bar tabs, loan sharks, utility payments, landlords, my girlfriend, people I had double-crossed --
I looked to all these as the source of my problems, while overlooking the most basic problem: my drinking and myself.
I'd known for a long time that I desperately wanted off this merry-go-round, but I had no idea how to do it.” - Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 506
I do well remember when personally, and certainly talked with a couple of people today, who could have had the same quote, give or take a word or two! Can you relate to the passage?
If you can relate, want to get off the “Merry-go-round” that is your life today, but don’t know how, please get in touch. I have been fortunate to work with hundreds of others who after a conversation have found some answers to the question how- and there is no one size fits all. Please feel free to get in touch here or through khbray@hopeserenity.ca. It may just be time you spend that helps you to know how to get off your merry-go-round permanently. (On www.coached-to-success.com or www.hopeserenity.ca)
LIFE ON THE MERRY-GO-ROUND
I’m generally not a computer pack rat, and tend to keep my inbox, sent and so on with little stuff in them. That being said, every now and again I hold on to something which I’ve read and intuitively know it is going to be very real on an upcoming day.
Below is something I received back in very early September. I was aware that it was there, and in talking with a couple of clients today, it reminded me to look back and share.
Once again the passage happens to be from the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous and dates back to the late 1930’s, but funny, it is as true today as it was back then.
For those many, who do not have a problem with drinking, substitute any issue you want following the words “most basic problem: my ____________ and myself.
“Merry-go-round”
“I began to feel like a clown juggling too many balls.
Each ball represented a problem I was keeping up in the air.
My arms were weary and I knew I couldn't keep on much longer, but I was not about to give up. My pride and ego wouldn't let me.
Bosses, judges, co-workers, lawyers, car notes, bar tabs, loan sharks, utility payments, landlords, my girlfriend, people I had double-crossed --
I looked to all these as the source of my problems, while overlooking the most basic problem: my drinking and myself.
I'd known for a long time that I desperately wanted off this merry-go-round, but I had no idea how to do it.” - Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 506
I do well remember when personally, and certainly talked with a couple of people today, who could have had the same quote, give or take a word or two! Can you relate to the passage?
If you can relate, want to get off the “Merry-go-round” that is your life today, but don’t know how, please get in touch. I have been fortunate to work with hundreds of others who after a conversation have found some answers to the question how- and there is no one size fits all. Please feel free to get in touch here or through khbray@hopeserenity.ca. It may just be time you spend that helps you to know how to get off your merry-go-round permanently. (On www.coached-to-success.com or www.hopeserenity.ca)
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
इनपुट सौघ्त,Questions
SIMPLE QUESTIONS-WOULD APPRECIATE RESPONSES
You are a person who uses the internet for a purpose. You are at this sight and reading this.
I am sincerely seeking answers to a couple of questions because I honestly don’t have any where near all the answers. Your honest response would be appreciated and I promise; you won’t be put on any lists. Your responses will help change lives positively and will not be shared but used to enhance my knowledge.
1. Do you feel that you have a life that you are content with?
2. Do you know what a “happy” life would look like or feel like?
3. If NO to either, honestly, what holds you back from change?
I am trying to do a better job at reaching people who want to change. If you can afford the time, I’d love to know in as much detail as you care to give:
1. Have you experienced coaching? If yes what was the outcome?
2. What do you think life coaching is?
3. What would you need to know to even talk with a life coach?
Appreciate all the input I can get to better target my efforts and serve others. Answers will be picked up when you comment here or they can be emailed to khbray@hopeserenity.ca. Thanks in advance, you’ve helped somebody today!
You are a person who uses the internet for a purpose. You are at this sight and reading this.
I am sincerely seeking answers to a couple of questions because I honestly don’t have any where near all the answers. Your honest response would be appreciated and I promise; you won’t be put on any lists. Your responses will help change lives positively and will not be shared but used to enhance my knowledge.
1. Do you feel that you have a life that you are content with?
2. Do you know what a “happy” life would look like or feel like?
3. If NO to either, honestly, what holds you back from change?
I am trying to do a better job at reaching people who want to change. If you can afford the time, I’d love to know in as much detail as you care to give:
1. Have you experienced coaching? If yes what was the outcome?
2. What do you think life coaching is?
3. What would you need to know to even talk with a life coach?
Appreciate all the input I can get to better target my efforts and serve others. Answers will be picked up when you comment here or they can be emailed to khbray@hopeserenity.ca. Thanks in advance, you’ve helped somebody today!
Monday, January 17, 2011
HOLISTIC?/SPIRITUAL? WHOA
HOLISTIC?/SPIRITUAL? WHOA
HOLISTIC? /SPIRITUAL? WHOA
I love to think that the huge positive changes in my life over the past 16 years or so have been holistic and as part of this, there has been a “spiritual awakening” (like brought out of a spiritual coma) as a part of what has happened.
Let’s go to Webster’s for a couple of accepted definitions.
Holistic: treatment of the whole organism; not just the symptoms of a disease.
Spiritual: relating to or concerned with the soul or spirit (opp; TEMPORAL)
In working with others that want to make big changes in their lives, I believe in a holistic approach that does involve treating not just the symptoms. If bad self –esteem, poor relationships, addictions, poor career results, a need to control, and so on are the visible, what is behind them? You can fix what you can see, but the problems likely will reoccur if you don’t address the much deeper cause.
A part of each and everyone one of us is a soul or spirit. When many see the word “spiritual” they immediately relate to thoughts of religion and in many cases, a “God” thing they have turned off years ago for whatever reason. A part of a holistic approach is dealing with “spiritual”, but as defined above. There is no conflict with a person’s lack of religious beliefs or with any religious beliefs they may hold.
In working with people to help them get out of a rut and move forward, it is important that a person recognize that feeling or voice inside that has made them feel uncomfortable at times or really question their own behaviour. This is “spiritual” in nature. What is that “quiet still voice” inside that questions you?
To live a life that is in keeping with what you really want for yourself, you must develop new life skills and a “toolbox” of useful habits and behaviours that allow you to progress. These are “learned”. Not any differently than how any high performer approaches improvement.
So what is the point of all this?
My experience tells me that a holistic approach to life change (recovery, transformation) must deal with the whole you and contain a “spiritual” element. To succeed, you must find a new “balance” in your life. To desire change, what you are doing now is obviously not working.
Most I work with are not alcoholics, yet I do draw on a lot of the things that 12 step programmes offer. They gave me a part of the solution to my own issues. Here is a quote that may fit you, put anything you want in where AA is mentioned.
“An AA member needs more than physical capabilities; he needs the use of his full faculties as a human being to hear the message, to think about it, to review the effects of the past to realize, to admit, and to accept.
These processes are activities of the mind, which is part of the spirit.” - Came To Believe . . ., p. 3
Does this article create some questions in you? Do you want to make changes that you have failed to do or procrastinate about? Do you need to develop new tools in your “life skills” toolbox? Do you want success? Do you want to talk about “holistic” and/or “spiritual”?
Let’s have a no obligation chat about holistic and spiritual, and see if you can find a path that suits you. (www.coached-to-success.com; www.hopeserenity.ca)
HOLISTIC? /SPIRITUAL? WHOA
I love to think that the huge positive changes in my life over the past 16 years or so have been holistic and as part of this, there has been a “spiritual awakening” (like brought out of a spiritual coma) as a part of what has happened.
Let’s go to Webster’s for a couple of accepted definitions.
Holistic: treatment of the whole organism; not just the symptoms of a disease.
Spiritual: relating to or concerned with the soul or spirit (opp; TEMPORAL)
In working with others that want to make big changes in their lives, I believe in a holistic approach that does involve treating not just the symptoms. If bad self –esteem, poor relationships, addictions, poor career results, a need to control, and so on are the visible, what is behind them? You can fix what you can see, but the problems likely will reoccur if you don’t address the much deeper cause.
A part of each and everyone one of us is a soul or spirit. When many see the word “spiritual” they immediately relate to thoughts of religion and in many cases, a “God” thing they have turned off years ago for whatever reason. A part of a holistic approach is dealing with “spiritual”, but as defined above. There is no conflict with a person’s lack of religious beliefs or with any religious beliefs they may hold.
In working with people to help them get out of a rut and move forward, it is important that a person recognize that feeling or voice inside that has made them feel uncomfortable at times or really question their own behaviour. This is “spiritual” in nature. What is that “quiet still voice” inside that questions you?
To live a life that is in keeping with what you really want for yourself, you must develop new life skills and a “toolbox” of useful habits and behaviours that allow you to progress. These are “learned”. Not any differently than how any high performer approaches improvement.
So what is the point of all this?
My experience tells me that a holistic approach to life change (recovery, transformation) must deal with the whole you and contain a “spiritual” element. To succeed, you must find a new “balance” in your life. To desire change, what you are doing now is obviously not working.
Most I work with are not alcoholics, yet I do draw on a lot of the things that 12 step programmes offer. They gave me a part of the solution to my own issues. Here is a quote that may fit you, put anything you want in where AA is mentioned.
“An AA member needs more than physical capabilities; he needs the use of his full faculties as a human being to hear the message, to think about it, to review the effects of the past to realize, to admit, and to accept.
These processes are activities of the mind, which is part of the spirit.” - Came To Believe . . ., p. 3
Does this article create some questions in you? Do you want to make changes that you have failed to do or procrastinate about? Do you need to develop new tools in your “life skills” toolbox? Do you want success? Do you want to talk about “holistic” and/or “spiritual”?
Let’s have a no obligation chat about holistic and spiritual, and see if you can find a path that suits you. (www.coached-to-success.com; www.hopeserenity.ca)
Friday, January 14, 2011
सत्य पोसितिवे-टिप्स तो रेदुचे Stress
Stay Positive/Reduce Stress
Sorry for this lead in to be self-serving, but if I can’t promote myself a bit for the right reasons, then what can I promote? Many will get help from the information.
For a number of years I have been coaching individuals. I blog on a regular basis with a primary purpose of offering ideas and thoughts to help people reach the personal goals they want in their lives. I have put a lot of thought and writing against “addictions”, an area I love to work in. My work and writings have been found on www.hopeserenity.ca - an “addictions” focused web site.
Most of the clients I coach are not addicts, but people stuck in ruts that need a push to get out of them. I am please that I have a new site up, www.coached-to-success.com, which is focused entirely on life skills; the skills you need to help you get out of a rut. I help people to build a “living tool” box so that they are better equipped to deal with life. For those that are going to knock, I charge on what a person can afford and oft times that is nothing!
I will be posting a series of articles on www.coached-to-success.com not specifically addiction related as well as e-books free to all, and all geared to life skills and “how to” in dealing with life on life’s terms. The following is the first of a series:
Staying Positive and Reducing Stress in a Fast Paced World
Staying Positive and Reducing Stress in a Fast Paced World
People are constantly working to make real improvements in the world. New waves of communication and better technology have lead to increased life spans and seemingly better lives.
While there are many positives when it comes to modern life, the downside is that sometimes people try to cram too many things into one day. In this fast paced world, stress may get the better of you and you might have trouble looking on the bright side.
Scheduling Downtime
You may feel like you should always be doing something productive. However, taking care of yourself is ultimately the most productive thing you can do. When you've given yourself proper rest and permission to do whatever you want once in awhile, you'll be better able to focus great efforts on the other things in your life that matter.
People that schedule downtime for themselves clearly have lower stress levels. Allow yourself a proper amount of time for rest. Get 6-8 hours of sleep at night and avoid the temptation to stay up doing something else with that time. You should also allow yourself a portion of the day where you get to do whatever you want. Even when time is short, let yourself enjoy a few minutes of total relaxation sometime during the day to rejuvenate.
Scheduling proper downtime also gives you time for reflection. When you reflect on your life, you can concentrate on the meaning of it all. You'll be more likely to truly enjoy your journey. It's so easy to let life pass you by if you don't take some time to reflect.
1
Concentrating On Attitude
Thinking positively is something you can choose to do regardless of your circumstances in life. Everyone struggles with it from time to time, and you owe it to yourself to focus on having a positive attitude.
A positive attitude is the foundation for a good life. Your outlook will allow you to enjoy all the craziness and will equip you to deal with the stressful parts. When negative thinking creeps up, just think about the things that are going right. You can also visualize how it'll feel when things turn around for the better.
Keeping Up
In a fast paced life, you can definitely take certain steps to slow your life down, but you can also work on being able to keep up!
Make a list of the areas where you're having trouble balancing. Brainstorm actions that you can take to improve your ability to cope.
For example, if you struggle to complete your tasks at work, see what you can do to fix this challenge. Maybe you can do one of your projects more efficiently. Perhaps you can rearrange your schedule to take care of the more stressful tasks first, leaving the least stressful for the end of the day when you're ready to unwind.
Dealing with Stress
Stress in your day-to-day life is nearly unavoidable. However, it's how you deal with the stress that counts. It's important for you to not let it build up, or it could lead to greater issues in the long run.
Do what you can to relieve your stress in a healthy way. Work on relaxation and breathing techniques. If you're more socially inclined, venting to a close friend can help you deal with stress. As long as you're doing something to relieve your stress, you'll be able to jump back into your faced paced life with a positive attitude.
Just because the world we live in is hectic, it doesn't mean that your life needs to be that way also. When you use these tips, you'll find it a lot easier to remain positive and enjoy a stress-free life.
Sorry for this lead in to be self-serving, but if I can’t promote myself a bit for the right reasons, then what can I promote? Many will get help from the information.
For a number of years I have been coaching individuals. I blog on a regular basis with a primary purpose of offering ideas and thoughts to help people reach the personal goals they want in their lives. I have put a lot of thought and writing against “addictions”, an area I love to work in. My work and writings have been found on www.hopeserenity.ca - an “addictions” focused web site.
Most of the clients I coach are not addicts, but people stuck in ruts that need a push to get out of them. I am please that I have a new site up, www.coached-to-success.com, which is focused entirely on life skills; the skills you need to help you get out of a rut. I help people to build a “living tool” box so that they are better equipped to deal with life. For those that are going to knock, I charge on what a person can afford and oft times that is nothing!
I will be posting a series of articles on www.coached-to-success.com not specifically addiction related as well as e-books free to all, and all geared to life skills and “how to” in dealing with life on life’s terms. The following is the first of a series:
Staying Positive and Reducing Stress in a Fast Paced World
Staying Positive and Reducing Stress in a Fast Paced World
People are constantly working to make real improvements in the world. New waves of communication and better technology have lead to increased life spans and seemingly better lives.
While there are many positives when it comes to modern life, the downside is that sometimes people try to cram too many things into one day. In this fast paced world, stress may get the better of you and you might have trouble looking on the bright side.
Scheduling Downtime
You may feel like you should always be doing something productive. However, taking care of yourself is ultimately the most productive thing you can do. When you've given yourself proper rest and permission to do whatever you want once in awhile, you'll be better able to focus great efforts on the other things in your life that matter.
People that schedule downtime for themselves clearly have lower stress levels. Allow yourself a proper amount of time for rest. Get 6-8 hours of sleep at night and avoid the temptation to stay up doing something else with that time. You should also allow yourself a portion of the day where you get to do whatever you want. Even when time is short, let yourself enjoy a few minutes of total relaxation sometime during the day to rejuvenate.
Scheduling proper downtime also gives you time for reflection. When you reflect on your life, you can concentrate on the meaning of it all. You'll be more likely to truly enjoy your journey. It's so easy to let life pass you by if you don't take some time to reflect.
1
Concentrating On Attitude
Thinking positively is something you can choose to do regardless of your circumstances in life. Everyone struggles with it from time to time, and you owe it to yourself to focus on having a positive attitude.
A positive attitude is the foundation for a good life. Your outlook will allow you to enjoy all the craziness and will equip you to deal with the stressful parts. When negative thinking creeps up, just think about the things that are going right. You can also visualize how it'll feel when things turn around for the better.
Keeping Up
In a fast paced life, you can definitely take certain steps to slow your life down, but you can also work on being able to keep up!
Make a list of the areas where you're having trouble balancing. Brainstorm actions that you can take to improve your ability to cope.
For example, if you struggle to complete your tasks at work, see what you can do to fix this challenge. Maybe you can do one of your projects more efficiently. Perhaps you can rearrange your schedule to take care of the more stressful tasks first, leaving the least stressful for the end of the day when you're ready to unwind.
Dealing with Stress
Stress in your day-to-day life is nearly unavoidable. However, it's how you deal with the stress that counts. It's important for you to not let it build up, or it could lead to greater issues in the long run.
Do what you can to relieve your stress in a healthy way. Work on relaxation and breathing techniques. If you're more socially inclined, venting to a close friend can help you deal with stress. As long as you're doing something to relieve your stress, you'll be able to jump back into your faced paced life with a positive attitude.
Just because the world we live in is hectic, it doesn't mean that your life needs to be that way also. When you use these tips, you'll find it a lot easier to remain positive and enjoy a stress-free life.
STAY POSITIVE/REDUCE STRESS
STAY POSITIVE/REDUCE STRESS
Stay Positive/Reduce Stress
Sorry for this lead in to be self-serving, but if I can’t promote myself a bit for the right reasons, then what can I promote? Many will get help from the information.
For a number of years I have been coaching individuals. I blog on a regular basis with a primary purpose of offering ideas and thoughts to help people reach the personal goals they want in their lives. I have put a lot of thought and writing against “addictions”, an area I love to work in. My work and writings have been found on www.hopeserenity.ca - an “addictions” focused web site.
Most of the clients I coach are not addicts, but people stuck in ruts that need a push to get out of them. I am please that I have a new site up, www.coached-to-success.com, which is focused entirely on life skills; the skills you need to help you get out of a rut. I help people to build a “living tool” box so that they are better equipped to deal with life. For those that are going to knock, I charge on what a person can afford and oft times that is nothing!
I will be posting a series of articles on www.coached-to-success.com not specifically addiction related as well as e-books free to all, and all geared to life skills and “how to” in dealing with life on life’s terms. The following is the first of a series:
Staying Positive and Reducing Stress in a Fast Paced World
Staying Positive and Reducing Stress in a Fast Paced World
People are constantly working to make real improvements in the world. New waves of communication and better technology have lead to increased life spans and seemingly better lives.
While there are many positives when it comes to modern life, the downside is that sometimes people try to cram too many things into one day. In this fast paced world, stress may get the better of you and you might have trouble looking on the bright side.
Scheduling Downtime
You may feel like you should always be doing something productive. However, taking care of yourself is ultimately the most productive thing you can do. When you've given yourself proper rest and permission to do whatever you want once in awhile, you'll be better able to focus great efforts on the other things in your life that matter.
People that schedule downtime for themselves clearly have lower stress levels. Allow yourself a proper amount of time for rest. Get 6-8 hours of sleep at night and avoid the temptation to stay up doing something else with that time. You should also allow yourself a portion of the day where you get to do whatever you want. Even when time is short, let yourself enjoy a few minutes of total relaxation sometime during the day to rejuvenate.
Scheduling proper downtime also gives you time for reflection. When you reflect on your life, you can concentrate on the meaning of it all. You'll be more likely to truly enjoy your journey. It's so easy to let life pass you by if you don't take some time to reflect.
1
Concentrating On Attitude
Thinking positively is something you can choose to do regardless of your circumstances in life. Everyone struggles with it from time to time, and you owe it to yourself to focus on having a positive attitude.
A positive attitude is the foundation for a good life. Your outlook will allow you to enjoy all the craziness and will equip you to deal with the stressful parts. When negative thinking creeps up, just think about the things that are going right. You can also visualize how it'll feel when things turn around for the better.
Keeping Up
In a fast paced life, you can definitely take certain steps to slow your life down, but you can also work on being able to keep up!
Make a list of the areas where you're having trouble balancing. Brainstorm actions that you can take to improve your ability to cope.
For example, if you struggle to complete your tasks at work, see what you can do to fix this challenge. Maybe you can do one of your projects more efficiently. Perhaps you can rearrange your schedule to take care of the more stressful tasks first, leaving the least stressful for the end of the day when you're ready to unwind.
Dealing with Stress
Stress in your day-to-day life is nearly unavoidable. However, it's how you deal with the stress that counts. It's important for you to not let it build up, or it could lead to greater issues in the long run.
Do what you can to relieve your stress in a healthy way. Work on relaxation and breathing techniques. If you're more socially inclined, venting to a close friend can help you deal with stress. As long as you're doing something to relieve your stress, you'll be able to jump back into your faced paced life with a positive attitude.
Just because the world we live in is hectic, it doesn't mean that your life needs to be that way also. When you use these tips, you'll find it a lot easier to remain positive and enjoy a stress-free life.
Stay Positive/Reduce Stress
Sorry for this lead in to be self-serving, but if I can’t promote myself a bit for the right reasons, then what can I promote? Many will get help from the information.
For a number of years I have been coaching individuals. I blog on a regular basis with a primary purpose of offering ideas and thoughts to help people reach the personal goals they want in their lives. I have put a lot of thought and writing against “addictions”, an area I love to work in. My work and writings have been found on www.hopeserenity.ca - an “addictions” focused web site.
Most of the clients I coach are not addicts, but people stuck in ruts that need a push to get out of them. I am please that I have a new site up, www.coached-to-success.com, which is focused entirely on life skills; the skills you need to help you get out of a rut. I help people to build a “living tool” box so that they are better equipped to deal with life. For those that are going to knock, I charge on what a person can afford and oft times that is nothing!
I will be posting a series of articles on www.coached-to-success.com not specifically addiction related as well as e-books free to all, and all geared to life skills and “how to” in dealing with life on life’s terms. The following is the first of a series:
Staying Positive and Reducing Stress in a Fast Paced World
Staying Positive and Reducing Stress in a Fast Paced World
People are constantly working to make real improvements in the world. New waves of communication and better technology have lead to increased life spans and seemingly better lives.
While there are many positives when it comes to modern life, the downside is that sometimes people try to cram too many things into one day. In this fast paced world, stress may get the better of you and you might have trouble looking on the bright side.
Scheduling Downtime
You may feel like you should always be doing something productive. However, taking care of yourself is ultimately the most productive thing you can do. When you've given yourself proper rest and permission to do whatever you want once in awhile, you'll be better able to focus great efforts on the other things in your life that matter.
People that schedule downtime for themselves clearly have lower stress levels. Allow yourself a proper amount of time for rest. Get 6-8 hours of sleep at night and avoid the temptation to stay up doing something else with that time. You should also allow yourself a portion of the day where you get to do whatever you want. Even when time is short, let yourself enjoy a few minutes of total relaxation sometime during the day to rejuvenate.
Scheduling proper downtime also gives you time for reflection. When you reflect on your life, you can concentrate on the meaning of it all. You'll be more likely to truly enjoy your journey. It's so easy to let life pass you by if you don't take some time to reflect.
1
Concentrating On Attitude
Thinking positively is something you can choose to do regardless of your circumstances in life. Everyone struggles with it from time to time, and you owe it to yourself to focus on having a positive attitude.
A positive attitude is the foundation for a good life. Your outlook will allow you to enjoy all the craziness and will equip you to deal with the stressful parts. When negative thinking creeps up, just think about the things that are going right. You can also visualize how it'll feel when things turn around for the better.
Keeping Up
In a fast paced life, you can definitely take certain steps to slow your life down, but you can also work on being able to keep up!
Make a list of the areas where you're having trouble balancing. Brainstorm actions that you can take to improve your ability to cope.
For example, if you struggle to complete your tasks at work, see what you can do to fix this challenge. Maybe you can do one of your projects more efficiently. Perhaps you can rearrange your schedule to take care of the more stressful tasks first, leaving the least stressful for the end of the day when you're ready to unwind.
Dealing with Stress
Stress in your day-to-day life is nearly unavoidable. However, it's how you deal with the stress that counts. It's important for you to not let it build up, or it could lead to greater issues in the long run.
Do what you can to relieve your stress in a healthy way. Work on relaxation and breathing techniques. If you're more socially inclined, venting to a close friend can help you deal with stress. As long as you're doing something to relieve your stress, you'll be able to jump back into your faced paced life with a positive attitude.
Just because the world we live in is hectic, it doesn't mean that your life needs to be that way also. When you use these tips, you'll find it a lot easier to remain positive and enjoy a stress-free life.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
गर्बगे रेमोवल-अरे यू रेअद्य?
GARBAGE REMOVAL-READY?
There are so many that balk along the trail at the word GOD. I was one of them because of experiences I had at the hands of people within a structured religion. As have many before me, I did have to find a Higher Power, something greater than the conscious me to get holistic recovery.
Today I can fully appreciate how spiritually bankrupt I was back in those dark days of 1994. Today I walk in the light, not of a higher power that I found in church, but one I found in me and you and all around me. I believe things do not happen by accident.
I think it is great when people find “a religion” that works for them. I’ve got Good Orderly Direction (GOD) from a higher power that works for me and for that I am grateful. When I am open, I am freely given good orderly direction in measures I had not experienced before!
Why this explanation? In my next big step, I was asked to have faith; something that was very new to me.
Were entirely ready to have god remove all these defects of character.-Step6/12 Steps
On first blush, this appeared to be a no brainer. Upon reflection, there is more to this than at first appeared.
By this stage of the journey, I had found a higher power that I could feel and even trust some. I had not had a drink or used in a while, and I had no cravings to do so. This had started to happen when I decided to turn things over.
In having god remove all my defects of character, would this not make me perfect? And I always tongue in cheek remember what happened to the only perfect person I had read about.
Upon reflection, I realized that there were none of the defects that had been identified in my recent recovery work that I would mind having removed. I could well live without them. If it were my higher powers will for me, or if I could abdicate from self- will, then that would be great. My trust level and faith were at a point I was ready. Nothing in the step says that my higher power would wave a wand and poof, all defects would be gone. Having things entirely removed is a perfect ideal. From what I had witnessed, it likely would not come to be 100%, but if it did, I was ready.
I was one of the fortunate ones. I had no defects I would not be prepared to give up. Some I know have had things they swore they would NEVER give up. Funny, in hanging on to their will so desperately, they never seemed to get the life they truly wanted.
Readiness, in practical terms, has come in stages. As the journey progresses and my conscious contact with my higher power continues to deepen and evolve, I become ready for things to change in different ways. It truly is work in progress.
As I “trudge” along this journey, I have to be conscious every day that the defects of character that are a part of me remain in some ways with me. Daily I have to be conscious. Daily I ask for them to be removed. But now I am getting ahead of myself!
For those who may be considering making huge change in their lives, always be conscious that change is a process and in my experience you have to do A before you do B, and one step builds on the success of what you have done on your trek. You have to have some faith and be well aware of defects before you can ask for them to be minimized or removed. Doing it half ass will give you half ass results! (khbray@hopesernity.ca ; www.hopeserenity.ca)
There are so many that balk along the trail at the word GOD. I was one of them because of experiences I had at the hands of people within a structured religion. As have many before me, I did have to find a Higher Power, something greater than the conscious me to get holistic recovery.
Today I can fully appreciate how spiritually bankrupt I was back in those dark days of 1994. Today I walk in the light, not of a higher power that I found in church, but one I found in me and you and all around me. I believe things do not happen by accident.
I think it is great when people find “a religion” that works for them. I’ve got Good Orderly Direction (GOD) from a higher power that works for me and for that I am grateful. When I am open, I am freely given good orderly direction in measures I had not experienced before!
Why this explanation? In my next big step, I was asked to have faith; something that was very new to me.
Were entirely ready to have god remove all these defects of character.-Step6/12 Steps
On first blush, this appeared to be a no brainer. Upon reflection, there is more to this than at first appeared.
By this stage of the journey, I had found a higher power that I could feel and even trust some. I had not had a drink or used in a while, and I had no cravings to do so. This had started to happen when I decided to turn things over.
In having god remove all my defects of character, would this not make me perfect? And I always tongue in cheek remember what happened to the only perfect person I had read about.
Upon reflection, I realized that there were none of the defects that had been identified in my recent recovery work that I would mind having removed. I could well live without them. If it were my higher powers will for me, or if I could abdicate from self- will, then that would be great. My trust level and faith were at a point I was ready. Nothing in the step says that my higher power would wave a wand and poof, all defects would be gone. Having things entirely removed is a perfect ideal. From what I had witnessed, it likely would not come to be 100%, but if it did, I was ready.
I was one of the fortunate ones. I had no defects I would not be prepared to give up. Some I know have had things they swore they would NEVER give up. Funny, in hanging on to their will so desperately, they never seemed to get the life they truly wanted.
Readiness, in practical terms, has come in stages. As the journey progresses and my conscious contact with my higher power continues to deepen and evolve, I become ready for things to change in different ways. It truly is work in progress.
As I “trudge” along this journey, I have to be conscious every day that the defects of character that are a part of me remain in some ways with me. Daily I have to be conscious. Daily I ask for them to be removed. But now I am getting ahead of myself!
For those who may be considering making huge change in their lives, always be conscious that change is a process and in my experience you have to do A before you do B, and one step builds on the success of what you have done on your trek. You have to have some faith and be well aware of defects before you can ask for them to be minimized or removed. Doing it half ass will give you half ass results! (khbray@hopesernity.ca ; www.hopeserenity.ca)
GARBGE REMOVAL-ARE YOU READY?
GARBGE REMOVAL-ARE YOU READY?
GARBAGE REMOVAL-READY?
There are so many that balk along the trail at the word GOD. I was one of them because of experiences I had at the hands of people within a structured religion. As have many before me, I did have to find a Higher Power, something greater than the conscious me to get holistic recovery.
Today I can fully appreciate how spiritually bankrupt I was back in those dark days of 1994. Today I walk in the light, not of a higher power that I found in church, but one I found in me and you and all around me. I believe things do not happen by accident.
I think it is great when people find “a religion” that works for them. I’ve got Good Orderly Direction (GOD) from a higher power that works for me and for that I am grateful. When I am open, I am freely given good orderly direction in measures I had not experienced before!
Why this explanation? In my next big step, I was asked to have faith; something that was very new to me.
Were entirely ready to have god remove all these defects of character.-Step6/12 Steps
On first blush, this appeared to be a no brainer. Upon reflection, there is more to this than at first appeared.
By this stage of the journey, I had found a higher power that I could feel and even trust some. I had not had a drink or used in a while, and I had no cravings to do so. This had started to happen when I decided to turn things over.
In having god remove all my defects of character, would this not make me perfect? And I always tongue in cheek remember what happened to the only perfect person I had read about.
Upon reflection, I realized that there were none of the defects that had been identified in my recent recovery work that I would mind having removed. I could well live without them. If it were my higher powers will for me, or if I could abdicate from self- will, then that would be great. My trust level and faith were at a point I was ready. Nothing in the step says that my higher power would wave a wand and poof, all defects would be gone. Having things entirely removed is a perfect ideal. From what I had witnessed, it likely would not come to be 100%, but if it did, I was ready.
I was one of the fortunate ones. I had no defects I would not be prepared to give up. Some I know have had things they swore they would NEVER give up. Funny, in hanging on to their will so desperately, they never seemed to get the life they truly wanted.
Readiness, in practical terms, has come in stages. As the journey progresses and my conscious contact with my higher power continues to deepen and evolve, I become ready for things to change in different ways. It truly is work in progress.
As I “trudge” along this journey, I have to be conscious every day that the defects of character that are a part of me remain in some ways with me. Daily I have to be conscious. Daily I ask for them to be removed. But now I am getting ahead of myself!
For those who may be considering making huge change in their lives, always be conscious that change is a process and in my experience you have to do A before you do B, and one step builds on the success of what you have done on your trek. You have to have some faith and be well aware of defects before you can ask for them to be minimized or removed. Doing it half ass will give you half ass results! (khbray@hopesernity.ca ; www.hopeserenity.ca)
GARBAGE REMOVAL-READY?
There are so many that balk along the trail at the word GOD. I was one of them because of experiences I had at the hands of people within a structured religion. As have many before me, I did have to find a Higher Power, something greater than the conscious me to get holistic recovery.
Today I can fully appreciate how spiritually bankrupt I was back in those dark days of 1994. Today I walk in the light, not of a higher power that I found in church, but one I found in me and you and all around me. I believe things do not happen by accident.
I think it is great when people find “a religion” that works for them. I’ve got Good Orderly Direction (GOD) from a higher power that works for me and for that I am grateful. When I am open, I am freely given good orderly direction in measures I had not experienced before!
Why this explanation? In my next big step, I was asked to have faith; something that was very new to me.
Were entirely ready to have god remove all these defects of character.-Step6/12 Steps
On first blush, this appeared to be a no brainer. Upon reflection, there is more to this than at first appeared.
By this stage of the journey, I had found a higher power that I could feel and even trust some. I had not had a drink or used in a while, and I had no cravings to do so. This had started to happen when I decided to turn things over.
In having god remove all my defects of character, would this not make me perfect? And I always tongue in cheek remember what happened to the only perfect person I had read about.
Upon reflection, I realized that there were none of the defects that had been identified in my recent recovery work that I would mind having removed. I could well live without them. If it were my higher powers will for me, or if I could abdicate from self- will, then that would be great. My trust level and faith were at a point I was ready. Nothing in the step says that my higher power would wave a wand and poof, all defects would be gone. Having things entirely removed is a perfect ideal. From what I had witnessed, it likely would not come to be 100%, but if it did, I was ready.
I was one of the fortunate ones. I had no defects I would not be prepared to give up. Some I know have had things they swore they would NEVER give up. Funny, in hanging on to their will so desperately, they never seemed to get the life they truly wanted.
Readiness, in practical terms, has come in stages. As the journey progresses and my conscious contact with my higher power continues to deepen and evolve, I become ready for things to change in different ways. It truly is work in progress.
As I “trudge” along this journey, I have to be conscious every day that the defects of character that are a part of me remain in some ways with me. Daily I have to be conscious. Daily I ask for them to be removed. But now I am getting ahead of myself!
For those who may be considering making huge change in their lives, always be conscious that change is a process and in my experience you have to do A before you do B, and one step builds on the success of what you have done on your trek. You have to have some faith and be well aware of defects before you can ask for them to be minimized or removed. Doing it half ass will give you half ass results! (khbray@hopesernity.ca ; www.hopeserenity.ca)
Monday, January 10, 2011
अद्मित्तिंग-वैरी DIFFICULT
ADMITTING-VERY HARD
Admitted to God (Good Orderly Direction source), to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.-12 steps/5th step
Admitting can be such a big word and a very hard thing to do.
When looking thoroughly at myself and my past, I unearthed many things I was not proud of and had done many things that not even those closest to me were aware of. To plagiarize, these were secrets that I had intended to take to my grave. No one had to know!
I had been living a life where I kept big secrets that caused negative emotions and I had learned to stuff my emotions inside. In doing my personal inventory using a written guide and a coach, I had been taken back to long forgotten incidents in my conscious memory, but the intensity of feelings that were rekindled told me that in my subconscious, they were still inside and haunting me.
I had some hard choices to make. I could keep these secrets buried inside and live with the consequences or do as the step said. Was I prepared to admit, even fully to myself let alone this higher power thing or even scarier, another human being, the exact nature of my wrongs? I had unearthed a lot, was I prepared to own it?
Eventually, the answer became yes or I would not be writing this nor have the life I am blessed with today.
Picking the proper “human being” was something that made me think, and think carefully I did. There were choices including my coach, a minister/priest who I knew did this stuff, my 12 step sponsor and more. I did not want to be judged, I just needed to get the crap inside out. I wanted someone who had experience being a listener and a trusted confidant.
With careful consideration, I made what was the right choice for me.
After taking this action, which I do think is massive action; I gained some immediate release from inner turmoil. While my journey was far from over, I had faced “ADMITTING” and was ready to move forward a little more comfortable in my own skin. I can honestly say, I have no secrets lodged in me today and for that I am grateful! I began to really know serenity. (khbray@hopeserenity.ca; www.hopeserenity.ca)
Admitted to God (Good Orderly Direction source), to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.-12 steps/5th step
Admitting can be such a big word and a very hard thing to do.
When looking thoroughly at myself and my past, I unearthed many things I was not proud of and had done many things that not even those closest to me were aware of. To plagiarize, these were secrets that I had intended to take to my grave. No one had to know!
I had been living a life where I kept big secrets that caused negative emotions and I had learned to stuff my emotions inside. In doing my personal inventory using a written guide and a coach, I had been taken back to long forgotten incidents in my conscious memory, but the intensity of feelings that were rekindled told me that in my subconscious, they were still inside and haunting me.
I had some hard choices to make. I could keep these secrets buried inside and live with the consequences or do as the step said. Was I prepared to admit, even fully to myself let alone this higher power thing or even scarier, another human being, the exact nature of my wrongs? I had unearthed a lot, was I prepared to own it?
Eventually, the answer became yes or I would not be writing this nor have the life I am blessed with today.
Picking the proper “human being” was something that made me think, and think carefully I did. There were choices including my coach, a minister/priest who I knew did this stuff, my 12 step sponsor and more. I did not want to be judged, I just needed to get the crap inside out. I wanted someone who had experience being a listener and a trusted confidant.
With careful consideration, I made what was the right choice for me.
After taking this action, which I do think is massive action; I gained some immediate release from inner turmoil. While my journey was far from over, I had faced “ADMITTING” and was ready to move forward a little more comfortable in my own skin. I can honestly say, I have no secrets lodged in me today and for that I am grateful! I began to really know serenity. (khbray@hopeserenity.ca; www.hopeserenity.ca)
ADMITTING-VERY HARD
ADMITTING-VERY HARD
ADMITTING-VERY HARD
Admitted to God (Good Orderly Direction source), to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.-12 steps/5th step
Admitting can be such a big word and a very hard thing to do.
When looking thoroughly at myself and my past, I unearthed many things I was not proud of and had done many things that not even those closest to me were aware of. To plagiarize, these were secrets that I had intended to take to my grave. No one had to know!
I had been living a life where I kept big secrets that caused negative emotions and I had learned to stuff my emotions inside. In doing my personal inventory using a written guide and a coach, I had been taken back to long forgotten incidents in my conscious memory, but the intensity of feelings that were rekindled told me that in my subconscious, they were still inside and haunting me.
I had some hard choices to make. I could keep these secrets buried inside and live with the consequences or do as the step said. Was I prepared to admit, even fully to myself let alone this higher power thing or even scarier, another human being, the exact nature of my wrongs? I had unearthed a lot, was I prepared to own it?
Eventually, the answer became yes or I would not be writing this nor have the life I am blessed with today.
Picking the proper “human being” was something that made me think, and think carefully I did. There were choices including my coach, a minister/priest who I knew did this stuff, my 12 step sponsor and more. I did not want to be judged, I just needed to get the crap inside out. I wanted someone who had experience being a listener and a trusted confidant.
With careful consideration, I made what was the right choice for me.
After taking this action, which I do think is massive action; I gained some immediate release from inner turmoil. While my journey was far from over, I had faced “ADMITTING” and was ready to move forward a little more comfortable in my own skin. I can honestly say, I have no secrets lodged in me today and for that I am grateful! I began to really know serenity. (khbray@hopeserenity.ca; www.hopeserenity.ca)
ADMITTING-VERY HARD
Admitted to God (Good Orderly Direction source), to ourselves and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.-12 steps/5th step
Admitting can be such a big word and a very hard thing to do.
When looking thoroughly at myself and my past, I unearthed many things I was not proud of and had done many things that not even those closest to me were aware of. To plagiarize, these were secrets that I had intended to take to my grave. No one had to know!
I had been living a life where I kept big secrets that caused negative emotions and I had learned to stuff my emotions inside. In doing my personal inventory using a written guide and a coach, I had been taken back to long forgotten incidents in my conscious memory, but the intensity of feelings that were rekindled told me that in my subconscious, they were still inside and haunting me.
I had some hard choices to make. I could keep these secrets buried inside and live with the consequences or do as the step said. Was I prepared to admit, even fully to myself let alone this higher power thing or even scarier, another human being, the exact nature of my wrongs? I had unearthed a lot, was I prepared to own it?
Eventually, the answer became yes or I would not be writing this nor have the life I am blessed with today.
Picking the proper “human being” was something that made me think, and think carefully I did. There were choices including my coach, a minister/priest who I knew did this stuff, my 12 step sponsor and more. I did not want to be judged, I just needed to get the crap inside out. I wanted someone who had experience being a listener and a trusted confidant.
With careful consideration, I made what was the right choice for me.
After taking this action, which I do think is massive action; I gained some immediate release from inner turmoil. While my journey was far from over, I had faced “ADMITTING” and was ready to move forward a little more comfortable in my own skin. I can honestly say, I have no secrets lodged in me today and for that I am grateful! I began to really know serenity. (khbray@hopeserenity.ca; www.hopeserenity.ca)
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Friday, January 7, 2011
WHO AM I?
WHO AM I?
WHO AM I?
I can remember those dark days back in 1994 that I really did not know who I was. Have you been there or are you at that point today.
I knew the roles that I played, amongst them husband, father, employer, community volunteer, company leader; roles I played on life’s stage like an actor. Some I played much better than others.
Inside I was a mess and frequently felt like the cartoon character that walks around with a little black cloud over my head. I frequently compared myself to others and took others inventory as a way to make me feel OK. Something inside of me kept saying things were not OK. The most important relationships in my life were crumbling and I was escaping in the ways I knew would work, escaping through the use of mood altering substances and behaviours. I was “spiritually empty. I could go on, but I think some of you will know the place I was at.
I did know my roles in life although I had begun to fail miserably at some of them.
Who was I as a person? Who was I inside? Why was I so discontent and unhappy? Most importantly, how did I get there? Why me? What was the cause? I wasn’t sure who I was but knew I was not happy and did not like the person I had become.
In the language of AA, I had come to a turning point and had to take massive action and it all started with me.
At this point I needed help to become fearless and courageous in that a look at myself and my life. I needed “guides”, both professional and process to get to the bottom of the question and to get some help.
I was given the courage to do both.
I went through a process. In 12 step language it is known as a 4th step. I was coached and guided by people that knew what they were doing. They were trained; they had walked the path before me. They had come out at the other end and were people I respected.
At the end of this process I understood who I was for the first time in my adult life. I understood what had happened to get me to a low I couldn’t handle. I understood life patterns that went way back. I understood my weaknesses but every bit as importantly, understood the strengths and values that were still alive in me.
This massive action allowed me to be in a position to move forward on my journey of life transformation and recovery.
Many say you can get this “free” through a 12 step group, and for many this is true. For my own reasons, at this point in my life, it was not the option that worked for me. (For years I have been a member of a 12 step group). I needed professional help and reached out and got it. It was the single best investment I made in myself bar nothing. I can’t say this emphatically enough. I don’t knock other options but am grateful that I took a path that for me has given me on an increasing basis a me that I love and a life more in keeping with the life I was meant to live.
Do you know who you really are? Are you unhappy with where you are at in life today? Is the mirror your friend or are you uncomfortable looking yourself in the eye?
There are avenues open to you IF you are prepared to take a hard look at yourself then take massive personal action.
If you can identify and want to discuss change, I’d be pleased to talk with you. I’m glad I took the journey and this step. There is more than one way and there is a way that is right for you WHEN YOU make the decision! Coaching and/or therapy are options. (www.hopeserenity.ca; khbray@hopeserenity.ca)
Want to get going so you know the answer to “WHO AM I?”
WHO AM I?
I can remember those dark days back in 1994 that I really did not know who I was. Have you been there or are you at that point today.
I knew the roles that I played, amongst them husband, father, employer, community volunteer, company leader; roles I played on life’s stage like an actor. Some I played much better than others.
Inside I was a mess and frequently felt like the cartoon character that walks around with a little black cloud over my head. I frequently compared myself to others and took others inventory as a way to make me feel OK. Something inside of me kept saying things were not OK. The most important relationships in my life were crumbling and I was escaping in the ways I knew would work, escaping through the use of mood altering substances and behaviours. I was “spiritually empty. I could go on, but I think some of you will know the place I was at.
I did know my roles in life although I had begun to fail miserably at some of them.
Who was I as a person? Who was I inside? Why was I so discontent and unhappy? Most importantly, how did I get there? Why me? What was the cause? I wasn’t sure who I was but knew I was not happy and did not like the person I had become.
In the language of AA, I had come to a turning point and had to take massive action and it all started with me.
At this point I needed help to become fearless and courageous in that a look at myself and my life. I needed “guides”, both professional and process to get to the bottom of the question and to get some help.
I was given the courage to do both.
I went through a process. In 12 step language it is known as a 4th step. I was coached and guided by people that knew what they were doing. They were trained; they had walked the path before me. They had come out at the other end and were people I respected.
At the end of this process I understood who I was for the first time in my adult life. I understood what had happened to get me to a low I couldn’t handle. I understood life patterns that went way back. I understood my weaknesses but every bit as importantly, understood the strengths and values that were still alive in me.
This massive action allowed me to be in a position to move forward on my journey of life transformation and recovery.
Many say you can get this “free” through a 12 step group, and for many this is true. For my own reasons, at this point in my life, it was not the option that worked for me. (For years I have been a member of a 12 step group). I needed professional help and reached out and got it. It was the single best investment I made in myself bar nothing. I can’t say this emphatically enough. I don’t knock other options but am grateful that I took a path that for me has given me on an increasing basis a me that I love and a life more in keeping with the life I was meant to live.
Do you know who you really are? Are you unhappy with where you are at in life today? Is the mirror your friend or are you uncomfortable looking yourself in the eye?
There are avenues open to you IF you are prepared to take a hard look at yourself then take massive personal action.
If you can identify and want to discuss change, I’d be pleased to talk with you. I’m glad I took the journey and this step. There is more than one way and there is a way that is right for you WHEN YOU make the decision! Coaching and/or therapy are options. (www.hopeserenity.ca; khbray@hopeserenity.ca)
Want to get going so you know the answer to “WHO AM I?”
व्हो ऍम इ?
WHO AM I?
I can remember those dark days back in 1994 that I really did not know who I was. Have you been there or are you at that point today.
I knew the roles that I played, amongst them husband, father, employer, community volunteer, company leader; roles I played on life’s stage like an actor. Some I played much better than others.
Inside I was a mess and frequently felt like the cartoon character that walks around with a little black cloud over my head. I frequently compared myself to others and took others inventory as a way to make me feel OK. Something inside of me kept saying things were not OK. The most important relationships in my life were crumbling and I was escaping in the ways I knew would work, escaping through the use of mood altering substances and behaviours. I was “spiritually empty. I could go on, but I think some of you will know the place I was at.
I did know my roles in life although I had begun to fail miserably at some of them.
Who was I as a person? Who was I inside? Why was I so discontent and unhappy? Most importantly, how did I get there? Why me? What was the cause? I wasn’t sure who I was but knew I was not happy and did not like the person I had become.
In the language of AA, I had come to a turning point and had to take massive action and it all started with me.
At this point I needed help to become fearless and courageous in that a look at myself and my life. I needed “guides”, both professional and process to get to the bottom of the question and to get some help.
I was given the courage to do both.
I went through a process. In 12 step language it is known as a 4th step. I was coached and guided by people that knew what they were doing. They were trained; they had walked the path before me. They had come out at the other end and were people I respected.
At the end of this process I understood who I was for the first time in my adult life. I understood what had happened to get me to a low I couldn’t handle. I understood life patterns that went way back. I understood my weaknesses but every bit as importantly, understood the strengths and values that were still alive in me.
This massive action allowed me to be in a position to move forward on my journey of life transformation and recovery.
Many say you can get this “free” through a 12 step group, and for many this is true. For my own reasons, at this point in my life, it was not the option that worked for me. (For years I have been a member of a 12 step group). I needed professional help and reached out and got it. It was the single best investment I made in myself bar nothing. I can’t say this emphatically enough. I don’t knock other options but am grateful that I took a path that for me has given me on an increasing basis a me that I love and a life more in keeping with the life I was meant to live.
Do you know who you really are? Are you unhappy with where you are at in life today? Is the mirror your friend or are you uncomfortable looking yourself in the eye?
There are avenues open to you IF you are prepared to take a hard look at yourself then take massive personal action.
If you can identify and want to discuss change, I’d be pleased to talk with you. I’m glad I took the journey and this step. There is more than one way and there is a way that is right for you WHEN YOU make the decision! Coaching and/or therapy are options. (www.hopeserenity.ca; khbray@hopeserenity.ca)
Want to get going so you know the answer to “WHO AM I?”
I can remember those dark days back in 1994 that I really did not know who I was. Have you been there or are you at that point today.
I knew the roles that I played, amongst them husband, father, employer, community volunteer, company leader; roles I played on life’s stage like an actor. Some I played much better than others.
Inside I was a mess and frequently felt like the cartoon character that walks around with a little black cloud over my head. I frequently compared myself to others and took others inventory as a way to make me feel OK. Something inside of me kept saying things were not OK. The most important relationships in my life were crumbling and I was escaping in the ways I knew would work, escaping through the use of mood altering substances and behaviours. I was “spiritually empty. I could go on, but I think some of you will know the place I was at.
I did know my roles in life although I had begun to fail miserably at some of them.
Who was I as a person? Who was I inside? Why was I so discontent and unhappy? Most importantly, how did I get there? Why me? What was the cause? I wasn’t sure who I was but knew I was not happy and did not like the person I had become.
In the language of AA, I had come to a turning point and had to take massive action and it all started with me.
At this point I needed help to become fearless and courageous in that a look at myself and my life. I needed “guides”, both professional and process to get to the bottom of the question and to get some help.
I was given the courage to do both.
I went through a process. In 12 step language it is known as a 4th step. I was coached and guided by people that knew what they were doing. They were trained; they had walked the path before me. They had come out at the other end and were people I respected.
At the end of this process I understood who I was for the first time in my adult life. I understood what had happened to get me to a low I couldn’t handle. I understood life patterns that went way back. I understood my weaknesses but every bit as importantly, understood the strengths and values that were still alive in me.
This massive action allowed me to be in a position to move forward on my journey of life transformation and recovery.
Many say you can get this “free” through a 12 step group, and for many this is true. For my own reasons, at this point in my life, it was not the option that worked for me. (For years I have been a member of a 12 step group). I needed professional help and reached out and got it. It was the single best investment I made in myself bar nothing. I can’t say this emphatically enough. I don’t knock other options but am grateful that I took a path that for me has given me on an increasing basis a me that I love and a life more in keeping with the life I was meant to live.
Do you know who you really are? Are you unhappy with where you are at in life today? Is the mirror your friend or are you uncomfortable looking yourself in the eye?
There are avenues open to you IF you are prepared to take a hard look at yourself then take massive personal action.
If you can identify and want to discuss change, I’d be pleased to talk with you. I’m glad I took the journey and this step. There is more than one way and there is a way that is right for you WHEN YOU make the decision! Coaching and/or therapy are options. (www.hopeserenity.ca; khbray@hopeserenity.ca)
Want to get going so you know the answer to “WHO AM I?”
Thursday, January 6, 2011
CAN YOU TURN IT OVER?
CAN YOU TURN IT OVER?
CAN YOU TURN IT OVER?
A small change had started in my life. A journey of transformation had started and I was starting to recover a life I wanted. I had some hope sanity could return to my life.
As I worked through the journey as laid out in the 12 steps, I hit something that called for a tough decision. It was a decision I was not ready for immediately, a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of this higher power thing.
For a person who had lived a life where I believed I was in control; turning my life and my will over to anything was tough thing to contemplate. Without fully appreciating it I tried to control all around me and appreciate today that I lacked trust in myself and others and that it was fear based.
What would happen if I simply turned things that I could not control over to this higher power? Would life start to be like a towel in a dryer? How do I know what I can and can’t control? The thoughts were a little frightening.
At that point in my life, I met a great man and mentor by the name of John Skelly. John coached me through this phase of change and even after I had began to learn how to turn things over and trust a bit; he was a constant reminder to me when I looked to take over too much control.
The most important thing I learned was at this point in my journey, all I had to do was to make a DECISION to try some new behaviour. Ultimately, I tried and found a little at a time that it worked. I had developed a little faith (and faith is not totally rational) in something outside of myself.
To say that things totally changed from this point on would be a stretch. I have had to keep making the decision consciously on a daily basis to turn over issues outside of my control and even today my success is not perfect; no where near it; but life has got better.
In accepting where I was at in life and wanting change; in realising that there was an element of insanity in my life and with help this could chance and in making a decision to try and turn things over to this higher power, things I could not control, a funny thing happened.
I found myself undergoing a significant change in my attitude toward life. I began to feel more balanced and get a bit of serenity. I began to feel hope. I was more “alive” inside than I had been in years. I found the courage to really start looking at causes, not just try to band aid the surface wounds.
From a person who wanted to be in control and run the show; a person who had a lot of internal fear; a person who thought they could fix them self; I had made huge progress. I was able to reach outside of me for help.
If I could do it so can anyone who really wants change. All it takes is the courage to reach out for help and realise you can’t do it on your own but that help in several forms is available! Is it YOUR time to make a DECISION? (khbray@hopeserenity.ca’ www.hopeserenity.ca)
CAN YOU TURN IT OVER?
A small change had started in my life. A journey of transformation had started and I was starting to recover a life I wanted. I had some hope sanity could return to my life.
As I worked through the journey as laid out in the 12 steps, I hit something that called for a tough decision. It was a decision I was not ready for immediately, a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of this higher power thing.
For a person who had lived a life where I believed I was in control; turning my life and my will over to anything was tough thing to contemplate. Without fully appreciating it I tried to control all around me and appreciate today that I lacked trust in myself and others and that it was fear based.
What would happen if I simply turned things that I could not control over to this higher power? Would life start to be like a towel in a dryer? How do I know what I can and can’t control? The thoughts were a little frightening.
At that point in my life, I met a great man and mentor by the name of John Skelly. John coached me through this phase of change and even after I had began to learn how to turn things over and trust a bit; he was a constant reminder to me when I looked to take over too much control.
The most important thing I learned was at this point in my journey, all I had to do was to make a DECISION to try some new behaviour. Ultimately, I tried and found a little at a time that it worked. I had developed a little faith (and faith is not totally rational) in something outside of myself.
To say that things totally changed from this point on would be a stretch. I have had to keep making the decision consciously on a daily basis to turn over issues outside of my control and even today my success is not perfect; no where near it; but life has got better.
In accepting where I was at in life and wanting change; in realising that there was an element of insanity in my life and with help this could chance and in making a decision to try and turn things over to this higher power, things I could not control, a funny thing happened.
I found myself undergoing a significant change in my attitude toward life. I began to feel more balanced and get a bit of serenity. I began to feel hope. I was more “alive” inside than I had been in years. I found the courage to really start looking at causes, not just try to band aid the surface wounds.
From a person who wanted to be in control and run the show; a person who had a lot of internal fear; a person who thought they could fix them self; I had made huge progress. I was able to reach outside of me for help.
If I could do it so can anyone who really wants change. All it takes is the courage to reach out for help and realise you can’t do it on your own but that help in several forms is available! Is it YOUR time to make a DECISION? (khbray@hopeserenity.ca’ www.hopeserenity.ca)
कैन यू तूर्ण आईटी ओवर?
CAN YOU TURN IT OVER?
A small change had started in my life. A journey of transformation had started and I was starting to recover a life I wanted. I had some hope sanity could return to my life.
As I worked through the journey as laid out in the 12 steps, I hit something that called for a tough decision. It was a decision I was not ready for immediately, a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of this higher power thing.
For a person who had lived a life where I believed I was in control; turning my life and my will over to anything was tough thing to contemplate. Without fully appreciating it I tried to control all around me and appreciate today that I lacked trust in myself and others and that it was fear based.
What would happen if I simply turned things that I could not control over to this higher power? Would life start to be like a towel in a dryer? How do I know what I can and can’t control? The thoughts were a little frightening.
At that point in my life, I met a great man and mentor by the name of John Skelly. John coached me through this phase of change and even after I had began to learn how to turn things over and trust a bit; he was a constant reminder to me when I looked to take over too much control.
The most important thing I learned was at this point in my journey, all I had to do was to make a DECISION to try some new behaviour. Ultimately, I tried and found a little at a time that it worked. I had developed a little faith (and faith is not totally rational) in something outside of myself.
To say that things totally changed from this point on would be a stretch. I have had to keep making the decision consciously on a daily basis to turn over issues outside of my control and even today my success is not perfect; no where near it; but life has got better.
In accepting where I was at in life and wanting change; in realising that there was an element of insanity in my life and with help this could chance and in making a decision to try and turn things over to this higher power, things I could not control, a funny thing happened.
I found myself undergoing a significant change in my attitude toward life. I began to feel more balanced and get a bit of serenity. I began to feel hope. I was more “alive” inside than I had been in years. I found the courage to really start looking at causes, not just try to band aid the surface wounds.
From a person who wanted to be in control and run the show; a person who had a lot of internal fear; a person who thought they could fix them self; I had made huge progress. I was able to reach outside of me for help.
If I could do it so can anyone who really wants change. All it takes is the courage to reach out for help and realise you can’t do it on your own but that help in several forms is available! Is it YOUR time to make a DECISION? (khbray@hopeserenity.ca’ www.hopeserenity.ca)
A small change had started in my life. A journey of transformation had started and I was starting to recover a life I wanted. I had some hope sanity could return to my life.
As I worked through the journey as laid out in the 12 steps, I hit something that called for a tough decision. It was a decision I was not ready for immediately, a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of this higher power thing.
For a person who had lived a life where I believed I was in control; turning my life and my will over to anything was tough thing to contemplate. Without fully appreciating it I tried to control all around me and appreciate today that I lacked trust in myself and others and that it was fear based.
What would happen if I simply turned things that I could not control over to this higher power? Would life start to be like a towel in a dryer? How do I know what I can and can’t control? The thoughts were a little frightening.
At that point in my life, I met a great man and mentor by the name of John Skelly. John coached me through this phase of change and even after I had began to learn how to turn things over and trust a bit; he was a constant reminder to me when I looked to take over too much control.
The most important thing I learned was at this point in my journey, all I had to do was to make a DECISION to try some new behaviour. Ultimately, I tried and found a little at a time that it worked. I had developed a little faith (and faith is not totally rational) in something outside of myself.
To say that things totally changed from this point on would be a stretch. I have had to keep making the decision consciously on a daily basis to turn over issues outside of my control and even today my success is not perfect; no where near it; but life has got better.
In accepting where I was at in life and wanting change; in realising that there was an element of insanity in my life and with help this could chance and in making a decision to try and turn things over to this higher power, things I could not control, a funny thing happened.
I found myself undergoing a significant change in my attitude toward life. I began to feel more balanced and get a bit of serenity. I began to feel hope. I was more “alive” inside than I had been in years. I found the courage to really start looking at causes, not just try to band aid the surface wounds.
From a person who wanted to be in control and run the show; a person who had a lot of internal fear; a person who thought they could fix them self; I had made huge progress. I was able to reach outside of me for help.
If I could do it so can anyone who really wants change. All it takes is the courage to reach out for help and realise you can’t do it on your own but that help in several forms is available! Is it YOUR time to make a DECISION? (khbray@hopeserenity.ca’ www.hopeserenity.ca)
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
ऍम इ इंसाने?
AM I INSANE?
I had not thought this question out very well back in the 90’s. While I did crazy things, the life I was living would have indicated that at times I was nuts, but no one would have considered me insane. I had a responsible job, a family, a home, two or more cars, no debt, volunteered time to causes, etc.
Yet a voice inside kept saying “Keith your nuts” and I fought it. Sure I drank too much at times and drugged some, sure I used other people to make me feel good; but then, wasn’t this “normal” for people in my position? The voice inside said “NOT”.
Today I define insanity in a simple way (and I’m a complicated person trying to live a simple life); you’ve all heard it before; insanity simply is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different outcome.
By this simple definition, I was insane and in the process had lost myself and any self-esteem that I had ever had. Yes I had “stuff” and the outward appearance of “success”, yet I had nothing inside accept that little voice. I was living in a fantasy land and just hoping things would be OK eventually and I was an actor on the stage of life just trying to please family and all those I came in contact with. I could not please me! Not even when I put on my “living” masks.
Finally I sought help. Through a set of circumstances (marriage counselling to please her), I was introduced to a “coach” who understood me. He quarterbacked my recovery over a three year period.
12 step groups were not for a person of my stature in life, yet my “coach” introduced me to the 12 steps under a different terminology. He introduced me, when I was ready, to group therapy and some sharing. He presented the “thought” of treatment (of course with a white collar twist), and eventually checking into a facility became my idea. 16 years ago I was in residential treatment for New Years, a full 3 months after my clean and sober date. I was not ready for 12 step groups YET.
While in treatment, I attended a class on spirituality. I was not and still am not a religious person, but something that was said by the “teacher” sparked inside of me and I went to see her after the lecture.
To keep it simple, I learned what the little voice was inside of me; it was the voice of a power greater than I. Call it what you want, but it was a voice of rationale thinking; the “right” side of right and wrong equation that I had learned to shut down, the voice of Good Orderly Direction, whatever it was, it didn’t matter. It “was” and I began to listen to it. It also opened my mind to 12 step group attendance.
Today, I spend a part of each day in conscious contact with this voice. I talk to it and listen to it. I try to do what it tells me I should do and as best I can, on a daily basis, I give my problems and worries, those outside of my direct control, over to this higher power to handle. I’ve made huge progress, yet there is and always will be a long way to go! I’m work in progress.
The 12 steps tell me that we came to believe a power greater than us could restore us to sanity. I’ve learned this truth.
Once I was coached to understand the insanity in my life, and was coached to find out what the small quiet voice inside was, I became one of those miracles who have been restored to sanity by a power greater than me.
I COULD NOT DO IT ALONE.I COULD NOT FIX MYSELF.
Ever ask yourself if you’re insane? If you are like me and ask the question, it is likely you are! Scary, but this is very common. Look at all the “well known” people around us who have come forward and told us how mental illness has touched their lives.
You have options open to you. One is to continue to do nothing, let the insanity continue, and deprive yourself of self-esteem, self-respect and living the life you are capable of living. This is a selfish cowardly way to live. It hurts others and cheats the world of talent.
Another open to you is to reach out and get the help you need. Depending on whom you are and where you’re at, this help is available in many forms including 12 step groups and the people you will meet there. Personal coaching or counselling are other avenues that can be a good start point. No matter what route you chose, reach out, get help and be prepared to take massive action. There is a power greater than you that can help you find sanity and the internal peace that goes with it. (khbray@hopeserenity.ca; www.hopeserenity.ca).
I had not thought this question out very well back in the 90’s. While I did crazy things, the life I was living would have indicated that at times I was nuts, but no one would have considered me insane. I had a responsible job, a family, a home, two or more cars, no debt, volunteered time to causes, etc.
Yet a voice inside kept saying “Keith your nuts” and I fought it. Sure I drank too much at times and drugged some, sure I used other people to make me feel good; but then, wasn’t this “normal” for people in my position? The voice inside said “NOT”.
Today I define insanity in a simple way (and I’m a complicated person trying to live a simple life); you’ve all heard it before; insanity simply is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different outcome.
By this simple definition, I was insane and in the process had lost myself and any self-esteem that I had ever had. Yes I had “stuff” and the outward appearance of “success”, yet I had nothing inside accept that little voice. I was living in a fantasy land and just hoping things would be OK eventually and I was an actor on the stage of life just trying to please family and all those I came in contact with. I could not please me! Not even when I put on my “living” masks.
Finally I sought help. Through a set of circumstances (marriage counselling to please her), I was introduced to a “coach” who understood me. He quarterbacked my recovery over a three year period.
12 step groups were not for a person of my stature in life, yet my “coach” introduced me to the 12 steps under a different terminology. He introduced me, when I was ready, to group therapy and some sharing. He presented the “thought” of treatment (of course with a white collar twist), and eventually checking into a facility became my idea. 16 years ago I was in residential treatment for New Years, a full 3 months after my clean and sober date. I was not ready for 12 step groups YET.
While in treatment, I attended a class on spirituality. I was not and still am not a religious person, but something that was said by the “teacher” sparked inside of me and I went to see her after the lecture.
To keep it simple, I learned what the little voice was inside of me; it was the voice of a power greater than I. Call it what you want, but it was a voice of rationale thinking; the “right” side of right and wrong equation that I had learned to shut down, the voice of Good Orderly Direction, whatever it was, it didn’t matter. It “was” and I began to listen to it. It also opened my mind to 12 step group attendance.
Today, I spend a part of each day in conscious contact with this voice. I talk to it and listen to it. I try to do what it tells me I should do and as best I can, on a daily basis, I give my problems and worries, those outside of my direct control, over to this higher power to handle. I’ve made huge progress, yet there is and always will be a long way to go! I’m work in progress.
The 12 steps tell me that we came to believe a power greater than us could restore us to sanity. I’ve learned this truth.
Once I was coached to understand the insanity in my life, and was coached to find out what the small quiet voice inside was, I became one of those miracles who have been restored to sanity by a power greater than me.
I COULD NOT DO IT ALONE.I COULD NOT FIX MYSELF.
Ever ask yourself if you’re insane? If you are like me and ask the question, it is likely you are! Scary, but this is very common. Look at all the “well known” people around us who have come forward and told us how mental illness has touched their lives.
You have options open to you. One is to continue to do nothing, let the insanity continue, and deprive yourself of self-esteem, self-respect and living the life you are capable of living. This is a selfish cowardly way to live. It hurts others and cheats the world of talent.
Another open to you is to reach out and get the help you need. Depending on whom you are and where you’re at, this help is available in many forms including 12 step groups and the people you will meet there. Personal coaching or counselling are other avenues that can be a good start point. No matter what route you chose, reach out, get help and be prepared to take massive action. There is a power greater than you that can help you find sanity and the internal peace that goes with it. (khbray@hopeserenity.ca; www.hopeserenity.ca).
AM I INSANE?
AM I INSANE?
AM I INSANE?
I had not thought this question out very well back in the 90’s. While I did crazy things, the life I was living would have indicated that at times I was nuts, but no one would have considered me insane. I had a responsible job, a family, a home, two or more cars, no debt, volunteered time to causes, etc.
Yet a voice inside kept saying “Keith your nuts” and I fought it. Sure I drank too much at times and drugged some, sure I used other people to make me feel good; but then, wasn’t this “normal” for people in my position? The voice inside said “NOT”.
Today I define insanity in a simple way (and I’m a complicated person trying to live a simple life); you’ve all heard it before; insanity simply is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different outcome.
By this simple definition, I was insane and in the process had lost myself and any self-esteem that I had ever had. Yes I had “stuff” and the outward appearance of “success”, yet I had nothing inside accept that little voice. I was living in a fantasy land and just hoping things would be OK eventually and I was an actor on the stage of life just trying to please family and all those I came in contact with. I could not please me! Not even when I put on my “living” masks.
Finally I sought help. Through a set of circumstances (marriage counselling to please her), I was introduced to a “coach” who understood me. He quarterbacked my recovery over a three year period.
12 step groups were not for a person of my stature in life, yet my “coach” introduced me to the 12 steps under a different terminology. He introduced me, when I was ready, to group therapy and some sharing. He presented the “thought” of treatment (of course with a white collar twist), and eventually checking into a facility became my idea. 16 years ago I was in residential treatment for New Years, a full 3 months after my clean and sober date. I was not ready for 12 step groups YET.
While in treatment, I attended a class on spirituality. I was not and still am not a religious person, but something that was said by the “teacher” sparked inside of me and I went to see her after the lecture.
To keep it simple, I learned what the little voice was inside of me; it was the voice of a power greater than I. Call it what you want, but it was a voice of rationale thinking; the “right” side of right and wrong equation that I had learned to shut down, the voice of Good Orderly Direction, whatever it was, it didn’t matter. It “was” and I began to listen to it. It also opened my mind to 12 step group attendance.
Today, I spend a part of each day in conscious contact with this voice. I talk to it and listen to it. I try to do what it tells me I should do and as best I can, on a daily basis, I give my problems and worries, those outside of my direct control, over to this higher power to handle. I’ve made huge progress, yet there is and always will be a long way to go! I’m work in progress.
The 12 steps tell me that we came to believe a power greater than us could restore us to sanity. I’ve learned this truth.
Once I was coached to understand the insanity in my life, and was coached to find out what the small quiet voice inside was, I became one of those miracles who have been restored to sanity by a power greater than me.
I COULD NOT DO IT ALONE.I COULD NOT FIX MYSELF.
Ever ask yourself if you’re insane? If you are like me and ask the question, it is likely you are! Scary, but this is very common. Look at all the “well known” people around us who have come forward and told us how mental illness has touched their lives.
You have options open to you. One is to continue to do nothing, let the insanity continue, and deprive yourself of self-esteem, self-respect and living the life you are capable of living. This is a selfish cowardly way to live. It hurts others and cheats the world of talent.
Another open to you is to reach out and get the help you need. Depending on whom you are and where you’re at, this help is available in many forms including 12 step groups and the people you will meet there. Personal coaching or counselling are other avenues that can be a good start point. No matter what route you chose, reach out, get help and be prepared to take massive action. There is a power greater than you that can help you find sanity and the internal peace that goes with it. (khbray@hopeserenity.ca; www.hopeserenity.ca).
AM I INSANE?
I had not thought this question out very well back in the 90’s. While I did crazy things, the life I was living would have indicated that at times I was nuts, but no one would have considered me insane. I had a responsible job, a family, a home, two or more cars, no debt, volunteered time to causes, etc.
Yet a voice inside kept saying “Keith your nuts” and I fought it. Sure I drank too much at times and drugged some, sure I used other people to make me feel good; but then, wasn’t this “normal” for people in my position? The voice inside said “NOT”.
Today I define insanity in a simple way (and I’m a complicated person trying to live a simple life); you’ve all heard it before; insanity simply is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different outcome.
By this simple definition, I was insane and in the process had lost myself and any self-esteem that I had ever had. Yes I had “stuff” and the outward appearance of “success”, yet I had nothing inside accept that little voice. I was living in a fantasy land and just hoping things would be OK eventually and I was an actor on the stage of life just trying to please family and all those I came in contact with. I could not please me! Not even when I put on my “living” masks.
Finally I sought help. Through a set of circumstances (marriage counselling to please her), I was introduced to a “coach” who understood me. He quarterbacked my recovery over a three year period.
12 step groups were not for a person of my stature in life, yet my “coach” introduced me to the 12 steps under a different terminology. He introduced me, when I was ready, to group therapy and some sharing. He presented the “thought” of treatment (of course with a white collar twist), and eventually checking into a facility became my idea. 16 years ago I was in residential treatment for New Years, a full 3 months after my clean and sober date. I was not ready for 12 step groups YET.
While in treatment, I attended a class on spirituality. I was not and still am not a religious person, but something that was said by the “teacher” sparked inside of me and I went to see her after the lecture.
To keep it simple, I learned what the little voice was inside of me; it was the voice of a power greater than I. Call it what you want, but it was a voice of rationale thinking; the “right” side of right and wrong equation that I had learned to shut down, the voice of Good Orderly Direction, whatever it was, it didn’t matter. It “was” and I began to listen to it. It also opened my mind to 12 step group attendance.
Today, I spend a part of each day in conscious contact with this voice. I talk to it and listen to it. I try to do what it tells me I should do and as best I can, on a daily basis, I give my problems and worries, those outside of my direct control, over to this higher power to handle. I’ve made huge progress, yet there is and always will be a long way to go! I’m work in progress.
The 12 steps tell me that we came to believe a power greater than us could restore us to sanity. I’ve learned this truth.
Once I was coached to understand the insanity in my life, and was coached to find out what the small quiet voice inside was, I became one of those miracles who have been restored to sanity by a power greater than me.
I COULD NOT DO IT ALONE.I COULD NOT FIX MYSELF.
Ever ask yourself if you’re insane? If you are like me and ask the question, it is likely you are! Scary, but this is very common. Look at all the “well known” people around us who have come forward and told us how mental illness has touched their lives.
You have options open to you. One is to continue to do nothing, let the insanity continue, and deprive yourself of self-esteem, self-respect and living the life you are capable of living. This is a selfish cowardly way to live. It hurts others and cheats the world of talent.
Another open to you is to reach out and get the help you need. Depending on whom you are and where you’re at, this help is available in many forms including 12 step groups and the people you will meet there. Personal coaching or counselling are other avenues that can be a good start point. No matter what route you chose, reach out, get help and be prepared to take massive action. There is a power greater than you that can help you find sanity and the internal peace that goes with it. (khbray@hopeserenity.ca; www.hopeserenity.ca).
Sunday, January 2, 2011
थे पॉवर ऑफ़ ACCEPTANCE
THE POWER OF ACCEPTANCE
As each new year begins, I love to go through and meditate on the 12 steps. As I constantly tell others, while the 12 steps in the familiar format people look at today come from AA, there is no better model for any human being to follow for good mental hygiene.
Want a better life tomorrow than you have today, start a journey using the 12 steps as your map!
My mentor Dr. Randin Brons just published the following thoughts in his Idea Engineer, and lo and behold they go right to the first step’s theme. ACCEPTANCE. He wrote:
The power of acceptance
"It is permissible to take life's blessings with both hands provided thou dost know thyself prepared in the opposite event to take them just as gladly. This applies to food and friends and kindred, to anything God gives and takes away... As long as God is satisfied do thou rest content. If he is pleased to want something else of thee, still rest content." -- Meister Eckhart
Our life begins to change in magical ways when we open to the experience of life AS IT IS. With acceptance, we stop fighting what is happening. And this creates space, an opening for new relationships to unfold.
Explore unconditionally saying yes to the facts of life. Accept your past and where you are now. Unconditional acceptance is unconditional love and this is healing.
"Sometimes what seems like surrender isn't surrender at all. It's about what's going on in our hearts. About seeing clearly the way life is and accepting it and being true to it, whatever the pain, because the pain of not being true to it is far, far greater." -- Nicholas Evans
Any journey forward begins with what Dr. Brons refers to as unconditional acceptance.
Is there something not right in your life? Something you know you must change? Something that is causing negatives in your life? Is that small quiet voice deep inside constantly niggling at you?
Accept what the problem really is and own it. Then get ready to make the journey of positive change, the co-creative journey of life transformation and life recovery. You’re worth it! (khbray@hopeserenity.ca; www.hopeserenity.ca).
As each new year begins, I love to go through and meditate on the 12 steps. As I constantly tell others, while the 12 steps in the familiar format people look at today come from AA, there is no better model for any human being to follow for good mental hygiene.
Want a better life tomorrow than you have today, start a journey using the 12 steps as your map!
My mentor Dr. Randin Brons just published the following thoughts in his Idea Engineer, and lo and behold they go right to the first step’s theme. ACCEPTANCE. He wrote:
The power of acceptance
"It is permissible to take life's blessings with both hands provided thou dost know thyself prepared in the opposite event to take them just as gladly. This applies to food and friends and kindred, to anything God gives and takes away... As long as God is satisfied do thou rest content. If he is pleased to want something else of thee, still rest content." -- Meister Eckhart
Our life begins to change in magical ways when we open to the experience of life AS IT IS. With acceptance, we stop fighting what is happening. And this creates space, an opening for new relationships to unfold.
Explore unconditionally saying yes to the facts of life. Accept your past and where you are now. Unconditional acceptance is unconditional love and this is healing.
"Sometimes what seems like surrender isn't surrender at all. It's about what's going on in our hearts. About seeing clearly the way life is and accepting it and being true to it, whatever the pain, because the pain of not being true to it is far, far greater." -- Nicholas Evans
Any journey forward begins with what Dr. Brons refers to as unconditional acceptance.
Is there something not right in your life? Something you know you must change? Something that is causing negatives in your life? Is that small quiet voice deep inside constantly niggling at you?
Accept what the problem really is and own it. Then get ready to make the journey of positive change, the co-creative journey of life transformation and life recovery. You’re worth it! (khbray@hopeserenity.ca; www.hopeserenity.ca).
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