PEOPLE PLEASIN'TIME OF THE YEAR
PEOPLE PLEASIN’ TIME OF THE YEAR
I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.--Bill Cosby
I am so blessed to have the space I do to work in. Today my view through my windows is of crisp white snow and snow clinging to mature cedars at the back of our property. The view reflects the positive state I’m in a majority of the time, and I am eternally grateful for the changes in my life that allow me to see the beauty all around me.
Years ago, my favourite lady, my Aunt Ruth, used to take me to see Bill Cosby. This was well before he was a sitcom guy. I love both his comedy and wisdom. The quote above, which came as a part of a reading, was a good reminder for me today.
I, for one, spent many a year trying to please others. Pleasing others for a myriad of reasons was very important to me. I wanted love and wanted affirmation from others that I was OK.
If you can relate to this then please read on.
As Cosby states, trying to please everybody was a key to failure in many parts of my life. I had lost something critical to success; ME. I may have come across as self-centred and at times “insecure and needy”. Frequently I tried to I cover this by acting arrogant or superior. I know today that my actions were a cry out for security and that stemmed from a lack of self-esteem.
As I got older, things got worse. I became whatever person I thought would make others happy, and I sought affirmation of myself in all the wrong places and ways. I looked for all types of ways to fill the hole inside yet things got progressively worse, not better.
Christmas and the holiday time were the worst time of the year for my people pleasing. Look at the opportunities that come about, particularly with the ability to give the biggest and best present, to be flowery in cards I wrote and to be the best Christmas guy around.
When the smoke cleared after the celebrations, that hole was still there.
Through some tough lessons and sinking (in my own mind) to levels I did not want to be at, I was taught a great lesson by a “help giving professional” I had sought ought.
In my own way, I had been running my tail off to please others. I had not learned why I had that hole in me and what I truly had to do to fill it. The learning started a journey for me, a journey I continue on to this day. Healing was a process of life transformation and recovery.
I go through a brief exercise with most of my clients. It shows that you can’t give away what you haven’t got. How do you please (or even love) others wholly if you can’t do it for yourself.
In some ways the life I had led would seem selfish, and it was. People pleasing was part of the manifestation of this. A paradox became real. I had to get truly selfish to become unselfish. I had to take the time, and get the help to work on me; and it has paid huge dividends, dividends that can’t be measured in dollars and cents.
The scene before me is a reminder that Christmas is coming. Because of the road I’ve travelled, Christmas is now totally different. Sure we give and receive gifts. Both in my personal life and family life I love to give. There is now a huge difference.
Today the priority is not to please you (although it’s lovely to see joy in others). I can do things that please me and the power that guides my life and in doing this, it seems to bring joy to many of those in my life. The hole inside is very small.
I cannot please all of the people all of the time and I long ago quit trying. Without that hole inside of me, I can do what I believe is right without the motive of trying to simply please others and this does give me personal serenity, pleasure and gratitude.
Mr. Cosby you are so right, trying to please everybody is a key to failure.
Share your thoughts here or at www.hopeserenity.ca. I look forward to reading them!
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Friday, December 17, 2010
SELFISHNESS
SELFISHNESS
Selfishness
Every now and again I reflect back on my life to a time before I started what I know call a “co-creative process of life recovery”.
There were many negative qualities that were at work most of the time. One that I really regret is selfishness.
I wanted the world to see me as a caring unselfish person. Many of my actions were just that-they looked caring and unselfish. The truth was, all too often, I did things with a motive-what was in it for me? I know this in retrospect.
I certainly spent years in the grasp of substance abuse and mood altering behaviours. As the quote below states, I got into a way of living that can aptly be described as self-will run riot. Those closest to me suffered, although it was not what I intended. When not comfortable in your own skin and finding ways to escape (totally selfish), the impact on others become secondary.
Take a look at your life? Is there truly an element of selfishness at play? Do you use “substances or behaviours” to escape your real life? Do you want this to end?
From experience, left untreated, it only gets worse, never better.
I went through a “holistic” process to regain my life. A part of this was attending and practicing 12 step meetings and the principles of the 12 steps. These principles, as a noted Forensic Psychologist and role model once stated to me, “form as good a platform for good mental hygiene as can be found”.
The best book ever written for 12 step principles is the book “Alcoholics Anonymous” written in the late 30’s. AA was the first of the over 100 12 step groups now in existence and provided the principles followed by all. I read and quote this text often as a part of what I work on others with.
If you haven’t read it, it is worth it to all.
“Selfishness -- self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. . .
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so.
Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! ”
- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 62
Wanting to be less selfish is a noble goal. Achieving that goal takes work, courage and mentoring. As we approach the holiday season, do you want to give it a try? I can tell you, I am thrilled I am on the journey and appreciate the progress made. (www.hopeserenity.ca)
Selfishness
Every now and again I reflect back on my life to a time before I started what I know call a “co-creative process of life recovery”.
There were many negative qualities that were at work most of the time. One that I really regret is selfishness.
I wanted the world to see me as a caring unselfish person. Many of my actions were just that-they looked caring and unselfish. The truth was, all too often, I did things with a motive-what was in it for me? I know this in retrospect.
I certainly spent years in the grasp of substance abuse and mood altering behaviours. As the quote below states, I got into a way of living that can aptly be described as self-will run riot. Those closest to me suffered, although it was not what I intended. When not comfortable in your own skin and finding ways to escape (totally selfish), the impact on others become secondary.
Take a look at your life? Is there truly an element of selfishness at play? Do you use “substances or behaviours” to escape your real life? Do you want this to end?
From experience, left untreated, it only gets worse, never better.
I went through a “holistic” process to regain my life. A part of this was attending and practicing 12 step meetings and the principles of the 12 steps. These principles, as a noted Forensic Psychologist and role model once stated to me, “form as good a platform for good mental hygiene as can be found”.
The best book ever written for 12 step principles is the book “Alcoholics Anonymous” written in the late 30’s. AA was the first of the over 100 12 step groups now in existence and provided the principles followed by all. I read and quote this text often as a part of what I work on others with.
If you haven’t read it, it is worth it to all.
“Selfishness -- self-centeredness! That, we think, is the root of our troubles.
Driven by a hundred forms of fear, self-delusion, self-seeking, and self-pity, we step on the toes of our fellows and they retaliate. . .
So our troubles, we think, are basically of our own making. They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is an extreme example of self-will run riot, though he usually doesn't think so.
Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of this selfishness. We must, or it kills us! ”
- Alcoholics Anonymous, p. 62
Wanting to be less selfish is a noble goal. Achieving that goal takes work, courage and mentoring. As we approach the holiday season, do you want to give it a try? I can tell you, I am thrilled I am on the journey and appreciate the progress made. (www.hopeserenity.ca)
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
सबोतागिंग SELF
SABOTAGING SELF?
How are you sabotaging yourself?
"If you play it safe in life you've decided that you don't want to grow any more." --
Shirley Hufstedler
How are you sabotaging you’re potential for change?
We unconsciously use defense mechanisms to shield us from situations we perceive to be scary or painful. A part of you may want to grow and change, but another part may be resisting because change always moves you into new territory in your thinking and emotions.
If you find you are getting anxious, fearful, angry, frustrated, dismissive or unmotivated, then defense mechanisms are at work. Watch for them and know them to be signs of fear that wants to hold you back. Then courageously move through them.
"I have never been contained except I made the prison." -- Mary Evans
Once again, my mentor Dr. Randin Brons shares a very thought provoking article in his weekly Idea Engineer. Please give the question some thought.
In my daily work (and volunteer life) I come across so many people who self sabotage, and it is obvious that they are doing it.
They identify a problem that is really negatively impacting their lives and state they would like to solve it and move forward.
A path to achieving their goal is outlined and then the excuses for not taking action start. “I can’t afford it”, “I already know what the problem is”, “I haven’t got time”, “I can fix it myself”, “I have a friend that….” or even an honest “I’m afraid of what I might find”.
You’re reading this article for a reason. Many of you have a good idea that you are sabotaging your own happiness and know you must make change. Why let fear- however it manifests itself- hold you back?
While I do coach people to achieve the changes that want, I am also prepared, as a service, to spend time with people who just want to discuss life change, transformation and recovery. Where you go from that chat is up to you. Do you not deserve, as a priority, the life you are capable of living? Have courage!
How are you sabotaging your life?
(www.hopeserenity.ca or khbray@hopeserenity.ca)
How are you sabotaging yourself?
"If you play it safe in life you've decided that you don't want to grow any more." --
Shirley Hufstedler
How are you sabotaging you’re potential for change?
We unconsciously use defense mechanisms to shield us from situations we perceive to be scary or painful. A part of you may want to grow and change, but another part may be resisting because change always moves you into new territory in your thinking and emotions.
If you find you are getting anxious, fearful, angry, frustrated, dismissive or unmotivated, then defense mechanisms are at work. Watch for them and know them to be signs of fear that wants to hold you back. Then courageously move through them.
"I have never been contained except I made the prison." -- Mary Evans
Once again, my mentor Dr. Randin Brons shares a very thought provoking article in his weekly Idea Engineer. Please give the question some thought.
In my daily work (and volunteer life) I come across so many people who self sabotage, and it is obvious that they are doing it.
They identify a problem that is really negatively impacting their lives and state they would like to solve it and move forward.
A path to achieving their goal is outlined and then the excuses for not taking action start. “I can’t afford it”, “I already know what the problem is”, “I haven’t got time”, “I can fix it myself”, “I have a friend that….” or even an honest “I’m afraid of what I might find”.
You’re reading this article for a reason. Many of you have a good idea that you are sabotaging your own happiness and know you must make change. Why let fear- however it manifests itself- hold you back?
While I do coach people to achieve the changes that want, I am also prepared, as a service, to spend time with people who just want to discuss life change, transformation and recovery. Where you go from that chat is up to you. Do you not deserve, as a priority, the life you are capable of living? Have courage!
How are you sabotaging your life?
(www.hopeserenity.ca or khbray@hopeserenity.ca)
SABOTAGING SELF?(Get honest with yourself!)
SABOTAGING SELF?(Get honest with yourself!)
SABOTAGING SELF?
How are you sabotaging yourself?
"If you play it safe in life you've decided that you don't want to grow any more." --
Shirley Hufstedler
How are you sabotaging you’re potential for change?
We unconsciously use defense mechanisms to shield us from situations we perceive to be scary or painful. A part of you may want to grow and change, but another part may be resisting because change always moves you into new territory in your thinking and emotions.
If you find you are getting anxious, fearful, angry, frustrated, dismissive or unmotivated, then defense mechanisms are at work. Watch for them and know them to be signs of fear that wants to hold you back. Then courageously move through them.
"I have never been contained except I made the prison." -- Mary Evans
Once again, my mentor Dr. Randin Brons shares a very thought provoking article in his weekly Idea Engineer. Please give the question some thought.
In my daily work (and volunteer life) I come across so many people who self sabotage, and it is obvious that they are doing it.
They identify a problem that is really negatively impacting their lives and state they would like to solve it and move forward.
A path to achieving their goal is outlined and then the excuses for not taking action start. “I can’t afford it”, “I already know what the problem is”, “I haven’t got time”, “I can fix it myself”, “I have a friend that….” or even an honest “I’m afraid of what I might find”.
You’re reading this article for a reason. Many of you have a good idea that you are sabotaging your own happiness and know you must make change. Why let fear- however it manifests itself- hold you back?
While I do coach people to achieve the changes that want, I am also prepared, as a service, to spend time with people who just want to discuss life change, transformation and recovery. Where you go from that chat is up to you. Do you not deserve, as a priority, the life you are capable of living? Have courage!
How are you sabotaging your life?
(www.hopeserenity.ca or khbray@hopeserenity.ca)
SABOTAGING SELF?
How are you sabotaging yourself?
"If you play it safe in life you've decided that you don't want to grow any more." --
Shirley Hufstedler
How are you sabotaging you’re potential for change?
We unconsciously use defense mechanisms to shield us from situations we perceive to be scary or painful. A part of you may want to grow and change, but another part may be resisting because change always moves you into new territory in your thinking and emotions.
If you find you are getting anxious, fearful, angry, frustrated, dismissive or unmotivated, then defense mechanisms are at work. Watch for them and know them to be signs of fear that wants to hold you back. Then courageously move through them.
"I have never been contained except I made the prison." -- Mary Evans
Once again, my mentor Dr. Randin Brons shares a very thought provoking article in his weekly Idea Engineer. Please give the question some thought.
In my daily work (and volunteer life) I come across so many people who self sabotage, and it is obvious that they are doing it.
They identify a problem that is really negatively impacting their lives and state they would like to solve it and move forward.
A path to achieving their goal is outlined and then the excuses for not taking action start. “I can’t afford it”, “I already know what the problem is”, “I haven’t got time”, “I can fix it myself”, “I have a friend that….” or even an honest “I’m afraid of what I might find”.
You’re reading this article for a reason. Many of you have a good idea that you are sabotaging your own happiness and know you must make change. Why let fear- however it manifests itself- hold you back?
While I do coach people to achieve the changes that want, I am also prepared, as a service, to spend time with people who just want to discuss life change, transformation and recovery. Where you go from that chat is up to you. Do you not deserve, as a priority, the life you are capable of living? Have courage!
How are you sabotaging your life?
(www.hopeserenity.ca or khbray@hopeserenity.ca)
Thursday, December 9, 2010
सित्तिंग इन JUDGEMENT
SITTING IN JUDGEMENT
No judgment
Everything in life holds both a blessing and a curse. We deny this when we label the events of our lives as either good or bad. The following old Zen story illustrates this lesson most effectively.
A farmer had a horse but one day, the horse ran away and so the farmer and his son had to plow their fields themselves. Their neighbors said, "Oh, what bad luck that your horse ran away!" But the farmer replied, "Bad luck, good luck, who knows?"
The next week, the horse returned to the farm, bringing a herd of wild horses with him. "What wonderful luck!" cried the neighbors, but the farmer responded, "Good luck, bad luck, who knows?"
Then, the farmer's son was thrown as he tried to ride one of the wild horses, and he broke his leg. "Ah, such bad luck," sympathized the neighbors. Once again, the farmer responded, "Bad luck, good luck, who knows?"
A short time later, the ruler of the country recruited all young men to join his army for battle. The son, with his broken leg, was left at home. "What good luck that your son was not forced into battle!" celebrated the neighbors. And the farmer remarked, "Good luck, bad luck, who knows?"
"Do not judge and you will never be mistaken." -- Jean Jacques Rousseau
I am a man who judged very quickly over a large portion of my life. I have been coached to do otherwise. My mind has gone from much closed to mostly open; real progress! Being far less judgmental has also helped me in all my relationships and is critical as a life coach (www.hopeserenity.ca).
I thank my mentor Dr. Randin Brons for this share in his Idea Engineer.
No judgment
Everything in life holds both a blessing and a curse. We deny this when we label the events of our lives as either good or bad. The following old Zen story illustrates this lesson most effectively.
A farmer had a horse but one day, the horse ran away and so the farmer and his son had to plow their fields themselves. Their neighbors said, "Oh, what bad luck that your horse ran away!" But the farmer replied, "Bad luck, good luck, who knows?"
The next week, the horse returned to the farm, bringing a herd of wild horses with him. "What wonderful luck!" cried the neighbors, but the farmer responded, "Good luck, bad luck, who knows?"
Then, the farmer's son was thrown as he tried to ride one of the wild horses, and he broke his leg. "Ah, such bad luck," sympathized the neighbors. Once again, the farmer responded, "Bad luck, good luck, who knows?"
A short time later, the ruler of the country recruited all young men to join his army for battle. The son, with his broken leg, was left at home. "What good luck that your son was not forced into battle!" celebrated the neighbors. And the farmer remarked, "Good luck, bad luck, who knows?"
"Do not judge and you will never be mistaken." -- Jean Jacques Rousseau
I am a man who judged very quickly over a large portion of my life. I have been coached to do otherwise. My mind has gone from much closed to mostly open; real progress! Being far less judgmental has also helped me in all my relationships and is critical as a life coach (www.hopeserenity.ca).
I thank my mentor Dr. Randin Brons for this share in his Idea Engineer.
SITTING IN JUDGEMENT
SITTING IN JUDGEMENT
SITTING IN JUDGEMENT
No judgment
Everything in life holds both a blessing and a curse. We deny this when we label the events of our lives as either good or bad. The following old Zen story illustrates this lesson most effectively.
A farmer had a horse but one day, the horse ran away and so the farmer and his son had to plow their fields themselves. Their neighbors said, "Oh, what bad luck that your horse ran away!" But the farmer replied, "Bad luck, good luck, who knows?"
The next week, the horse returned to the farm, bringing a herd of wild horses with him. "What wonderful luck!" cried the neighbors, but the farmer responded, "Good luck, bad luck, who knows?"
Then, the farmer's son was thrown as he tried to ride one of the wild horses, and he broke his leg. "Ah, such bad luck," sympathized the neighbors. Once again, the farmer responded, "Bad luck, good luck, who knows?"
A short time later, the ruler of the country recruited all young men to join his army for battle. The son, with his broken leg, was left at home. "What good luck that your son was not forced into battle!" celebrated the neighbors. And the farmer remarked, "Good luck, bad luck, who knows?"
"Do not judge and you will never be mistaken." -- Jean Jacques Rousseau
I am a man who judged very quickly over a large portion of my life. I have been coached to do otherwise. My mind has gone from much closed to mostly open; real progress! Being far less judgmental has also helped me in all my relationships and is critical as a life coach (www.hopeserenity.ca).
I thank my mentor Dr. Randin Brons for this share in his Idea Engineer.
SITTING IN JUDGEMENT
No judgment
Everything in life holds both a blessing and a curse. We deny this when we label the events of our lives as either good or bad. The following old Zen story illustrates this lesson most effectively.
A farmer had a horse but one day, the horse ran away and so the farmer and his son had to plow their fields themselves. Their neighbors said, "Oh, what bad luck that your horse ran away!" But the farmer replied, "Bad luck, good luck, who knows?"
The next week, the horse returned to the farm, bringing a herd of wild horses with him. "What wonderful luck!" cried the neighbors, but the farmer responded, "Good luck, bad luck, who knows?"
Then, the farmer's son was thrown as he tried to ride one of the wild horses, and he broke his leg. "Ah, such bad luck," sympathized the neighbors. Once again, the farmer responded, "Bad luck, good luck, who knows?"
A short time later, the ruler of the country recruited all young men to join his army for battle. The son, with his broken leg, was left at home. "What good luck that your son was not forced into battle!" celebrated the neighbors. And the farmer remarked, "Good luck, bad luck, who knows?"
"Do not judge and you will never be mistaken." -- Jean Jacques Rousseau
I am a man who judged very quickly over a large portion of my life. I have been coached to do otherwise. My mind has gone from much closed to mostly open; real progress! Being far less judgmental has also helped me in all my relationships and is critical as a life coach (www.hopeserenity.ca).
I thank my mentor Dr. Randin Brons for this share in his Idea Engineer.
Monday, December 6, 2010
चसिंग हप्पिनेस?
CHASING HAPPINESS?
“One is happy as a result of one's own efforts, once one knows the necessary ingredients of happiness — simple tastes, a certain degree of courage, self denial to a point, love of work, and, above all, a clear conscience. Happiness is no vague dream, of that I now feel certain.”-George Sand-19th Century female French novelist
I came upon a part of this George Sand quote in one of my daily readings and in exploring who George Sand was, came upon the whole quote.
It certainly gave me a jolt to think and ponder; after all, do most of us not spend our lives chasing “HAPPINESS”?
Happiness is not an accident. If we learn how to truly look for it, we will find it within. It’s the how to find it that is a problem to many.
Inside of us is a small quiet voice, a part of us that we often learn to ignore. Whether we like it or not OR vehemently deny it, there is a spiritual component that is part of each of us. A part of that element is love-for self and others.
This voice, when heard, speaks of care and loving. It will never tell us to hurt ourselves or others. It is, in part, a higher power that dwells within, a higher power we can call love.
There is a skill that I had to learn to locate and have conscious contact with this voice within. It was not easily learned; I had to be coached through the process until it became a regular part of a new balanced approach to daily living. The happiness I’ve gained is a result of my own efforts and to reach that state of having a clear conscience. As Sands says, happiness is no vague dream; it is part of my life today. Happiness has not been an accident but a discovery by choice.
So are you chasing happiness in all the wrong places and have no real idea of what it feels like and where to find it? You DO have the key within.
Happiness is not an accident. It comes from finding the undeniable spiritual (not religious) voice. I’m truly glad to have found it. (www.hopeserenity.ca)
Another Sands quote to close:
“There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.”
George Sand
“One is happy as a result of one's own efforts, once one knows the necessary ingredients of happiness — simple tastes, a certain degree of courage, self denial to a point, love of work, and, above all, a clear conscience. Happiness is no vague dream, of that I now feel certain.”-George Sand-19th Century female French novelist
I came upon a part of this George Sand quote in one of my daily readings and in exploring who George Sand was, came upon the whole quote.
It certainly gave me a jolt to think and ponder; after all, do most of us not spend our lives chasing “HAPPINESS”?
Happiness is not an accident. If we learn how to truly look for it, we will find it within. It’s the how to find it that is a problem to many.
Inside of us is a small quiet voice, a part of us that we often learn to ignore. Whether we like it or not OR vehemently deny it, there is a spiritual component that is part of each of us. A part of that element is love-for self and others.
This voice, when heard, speaks of care and loving. It will never tell us to hurt ourselves or others. It is, in part, a higher power that dwells within, a higher power we can call love.
There is a skill that I had to learn to locate and have conscious contact with this voice within. It was not easily learned; I had to be coached through the process until it became a regular part of a new balanced approach to daily living. The happiness I’ve gained is a result of my own efforts and to reach that state of having a clear conscience. As Sands says, happiness is no vague dream; it is part of my life today. Happiness has not been an accident but a discovery by choice.
So are you chasing happiness in all the wrong places and have no real idea of what it feels like and where to find it? You DO have the key within.
Happiness is not an accident. It comes from finding the undeniable spiritual (not religious) voice. I’m truly glad to have found it. (www.hopeserenity.ca)
Another Sands quote to close:
“There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.”
George Sand
CHASING HAPPINESS? (It can be elusive)
CHASING HAPPINESS? (It can be elusive)
CHASING HAPPINESS?
“One is happy as a result of one's own efforts, once one knows the necessary ingredients of happiness — simple tastes, a certain degree of courage, self denial to a point, love of work, and, above all, a clear conscience. Happiness is no vague dream, of that I now feel certain.”-George Sand-19th Century female French novelist
I came upon a part of this George Sand quote in one of my daily readings and in exploring who George Sand was, came upon the whole quote.
It certainly gave me a jolt to think and ponder; after all, do most of us not spend our lives chasing “HAPPINESS”?
Happiness is not an accident. If we learn how to truly look for it, we will find it within. It’s the how to find it that is a problem to many.
Inside of us is a small quiet voice, a part of us that we often learn to ignore. Whether we like it or not OR vehemently deny it, there is a spiritual component that is part of each of us. A part of that element is love-for self and others.
This voice, when heard, speaks of care and loving. It will never tell us to hurt ourselves or others. It is, in part, a higher power that dwells within, a higher power we can call love.
There is a skill that I had to learn to locate and have conscious contact with this voice within. It was not easily learned; I had to be coached through the process until it became a regular part of a new balanced approach to daily living. The happiness I’ve gained is a result of my own efforts and to reach that state of having a clear conscience. As Sands says, happiness is no vague dream; it is part of my life today. Happiness has not been an accident but a discovery by choice.
So are you chasing happiness in all the wrong places and have no real idea of what it feels like and where to find it? You DO have the key within.
Happiness is not an accident. It comes from finding the undeniable spiritual (not religious) voice. I’m truly glad to have found it. (www.hopeserenity.ca)
Another Sands quote to close:
“There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.”
George Sand
CHASING HAPPINESS?
“One is happy as a result of one's own efforts, once one knows the necessary ingredients of happiness — simple tastes, a certain degree of courage, self denial to a point, love of work, and, above all, a clear conscience. Happiness is no vague dream, of that I now feel certain.”-George Sand-19th Century female French novelist
I came upon a part of this George Sand quote in one of my daily readings and in exploring who George Sand was, came upon the whole quote.
It certainly gave me a jolt to think and ponder; after all, do most of us not spend our lives chasing “HAPPINESS”?
Happiness is not an accident. If we learn how to truly look for it, we will find it within. It’s the how to find it that is a problem to many.
Inside of us is a small quiet voice, a part of us that we often learn to ignore. Whether we like it or not OR vehemently deny it, there is a spiritual component that is part of each of us. A part of that element is love-for self and others.
This voice, when heard, speaks of care and loving. It will never tell us to hurt ourselves or others. It is, in part, a higher power that dwells within, a higher power we can call love.
There is a skill that I had to learn to locate and have conscious contact with this voice within. It was not easily learned; I had to be coached through the process until it became a regular part of a new balanced approach to daily living. The happiness I’ve gained is a result of my own efforts and to reach that state of having a clear conscience. As Sands says, happiness is no vague dream; it is part of my life today. Happiness has not been an accident but a discovery by choice.
So are you chasing happiness in all the wrong places and have no real idea of what it feels like and where to find it? You DO have the key within.
Happiness is not an accident. It comes from finding the undeniable spiritual (not religious) voice. I’m truly glad to have found it. (www.hopeserenity.ca)
Another Sands quote to close:
“There is only one happiness in this life, to love and be loved.”
George Sand
Thursday, December 2, 2010
प्रक्टिस,प्रक्टिस,PRACTICE
Practice, Practice, Practice
I’m a golf nut, and some may say certifiable.
With the amount of golf tips and lessons I’ve had appear on my computer screen this last little while; it caused me to reflect on not only my golf game, but my life.
I am a believer in asking for help, and when it comes to my golf game, I read a lot a do watch instructional videos and tips. I watch top level professional players and listen to them. I have gone to what might be called golf “rehab”, intensive clinics lead by great teachers where 100% of the focus is on the golf swing with the intent to improve.
I set goals for my golf “handicap” and track results diligently. I am not a “natural” but am blessed with reasonable hand eye co-ordination. I am lucky that I have an opportunity to play quite a bit and have reasonably good equipment and teaching aids.
Man, I should be ready to play on the tour- or at least the old guy’s tour.
While my golf has improved over the years and I’m decent, I am not as good as I should be with the amount I play. I am not terribly consistent and my scores can swing significantly from 9 holes to 9 holes and day to day. I can have stretches where I play good gold but it only lasts a short time.
Why? Why” Why?
There is a very simple reason. While I understand the mechanics better than most and have read, watched and heard all the techniques, I don’t spend nearly enough time on the practice range putting into practice what I have been shown. During the brief periods in my golf life I have committed to and actually practiced, I play consistently better golf.
I faced very similar challenges in life.
I did ask for help, got a coach, and went to rehab, read and so on. What I went through was similar to golf.
A huge difference is that I set goals, and achieve them and do have a large amount of consistency in my daily living.
Life happens each and every day. I have a “series” of things I must do every day and have a “check list” that I have used for years which I go through regularly to make sure I am practicing what I have learned on a daily basis. (Want it? email me at khbray@hopeserenity.ca and it’s yours). I know with the balance that I have in my life today, I am playing the game of life at a high and personally satisfying level and I coach others on how to get into the game.
Practice, practice, Practice.
With this clarity of thought, maybe I can take what I’ve learned about the game of life to the golf course. Possibly I can play less and practice more. The big difference, living is a serious business; golf is a game!
I’m a golf nut, and some may say certifiable.
With the amount of golf tips and lessons I’ve had appear on my computer screen this last little while; it caused me to reflect on not only my golf game, but my life.
I am a believer in asking for help, and when it comes to my golf game, I read a lot a do watch instructional videos and tips. I watch top level professional players and listen to them. I have gone to what might be called golf “rehab”, intensive clinics lead by great teachers where 100% of the focus is on the golf swing with the intent to improve.
I set goals for my golf “handicap” and track results diligently. I am not a “natural” but am blessed with reasonable hand eye co-ordination. I am lucky that I have an opportunity to play quite a bit and have reasonably good equipment and teaching aids.
Man, I should be ready to play on the tour- or at least the old guy’s tour.
While my golf has improved over the years and I’m decent, I am not as good as I should be with the amount I play. I am not terribly consistent and my scores can swing significantly from 9 holes to 9 holes and day to day. I can have stretches where I play good gold but it only lasts a short time.
Why? Why” Why?
There is a very simple reason. While I understand the mechanics better than most and have read, watched and heard all the techniques, I don’t spend nearly enough time on the practice range putting into practice what I have been shown. During the brief periods in my golf life I have committed to and actually practiced, I play consistently better golf.
I faced very similar challenges in life.
I did ask for help, got a coach, and went to rehab, read and so on. What I went through was similar to golf.
A huge difference is that I set goals, and achieve them and do have a large amount of consistency in my daily living.
Life happens each and every day. I have a “series” of things I must do every day and have a “check list” that I have used for years which I go through regularly to make sure I am practicing what I have learned on a daily basis. (Want it? email me at khbray@hopeserenity.ca and it’s yours). I know with the balance that I have in my life today, I am playing the game of life at a high and personally satisfying level and I coach others on how to get into the game.
Practice, practice, Practice.
With this clarity of thought, maybe I can take what I’ve learned about the game of life to the golf course. Possibly I can play less and practice more. The big difference, living is a serious business; golf is a game!
PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE
PRACTICE, PRACTICE, PRACTICE
Practice, Practice, Practice
I’m a golf nut, and some may say certifiable.
With the amount of golf tips and lessons I’ve had appear on my computer screen this last little while; it caused me to reflect on not only my golf game, but my life.
I am a believer in asking for help, and when it comes to my golf game, I read a lot a do watch instructional videos and tips. I watch top level professional players and listen to them. I have gone to what might be called golf “rehab”, intensive clinics lead by great teachers where 100% of the focus is on the golf swing with the intent to improve.
I set goals for my golf “handicap” and track results diligently. I am not a “natural” but am blessed with reasonable hand eye co-ordination. I am lucky that I have an opportunity to play quite a bit and have reasonably good equipment and teaching aids.
Man, I should be ready to play on the tour- or at least the old guy’s tour.
While my golf has improved over the years and I’m decent, I am not as good as I should be with the amount I play. I am not terribly consistent and my scores can swing significantly from 9 holes to 9 holes and day to day. I can have stretches where I play good gold but it only lasts a short time.
Why? Why” Why?
There is a very simple reason. While I understand the mechanics better than most and have read, watched and heard all the techniques, I don’t spend nearly enough time on the practice range putting into practice what I have been shown. During the brief periods in my golf life I have committed to and actually practiced, I play consistently better golf.
I faced very similar challenges in life.
I did ask for help, got a coach, and went to rehab, read and so on. What I went through was similar to golf.
A huge difference is that I set goals, and achieve them and do have a large amount of consistency in my daily living.
Life happens each and every day. I have a “series” of things I must do every day and have a “check list” that I have used for years which I go through regularly to make sure I am practicing what I have learned on a daily basis. (Want it? email me at khbray@hopeserenity.ca and it’s yours). I know with the balance that I have in my life today, I am playing the game of life at a high and personally satisfying level and I coach others on how to get into the game.
Practice, practice, Practice.
With this clarity of thought, maybe I can take what I’ve learned about the game of life to the golf course. Possibly I can play less and practice more. The big difference, living is a serious business; golf is a game!
Practice, Practice, Practice
I’m a golf nut, and some may say certifiable.
With the amount of golf tips and lessons I’ve had appear on my computer screen this last little while; it caused me to reflect on not only my golf game, but my life.
I am a believer in asking for help, and when it comes to my golf game, I read a lot a do watch instructional videos and tips. I watch top level professional players and listen to them. I have gone to what might be called golf “rehab”, intensive clinics lead by great teachers where 100% of the focus is on the golf swing with the intent to improve.
I set goals for my golf “handicap” and track results diligently. I am not a “natural” but am blessed with reasonable hand eye co-ordination. I am lucky that I have an opportunity to play quite a bit and have reasonably good equipment and teaching aids.
Man, I should be ready to play on the tour- or at least the old guy’s tour.
While my golf has improved over the years and I’m decent, I am not as good as I should be with the amount I play. I am not terribly consistent and my scores can swing significantly from 9 holes to 9 holes and day to day. I can have stretches where I play good gold but it only lasts a short time.
Why? Why” Why?
There is a very simple reason. While I understand the mechanics better than most and have read, watched and heard all the techniques, I don’t spend nearly enough time on the practice range putting into practice what I have been shown. During the brief periods in my golf life I have committed to and actually practiced, I play consistently better golf.
I faced very similar challenges in life.
I did ask for help, got a coach, and went to rehab, read and so on. What I went through was similar to golf.
A huge difference is that I set goals, and achieve them and do have a large amount of consistency in my daily living.
Life happens each and every day. I have a “series” of things I must do every day and have a “check list” that I have used for years which I go through regularly to make sure I am practicing what I have learned on a daily basis. (Want it? email me at khbray@hopeserenity.ca and it’s yours). I know with the balance that I have in my life today, I am playing the game of life at a high and personally satisfying level and I coach others on how to get into the game.
Practice, practice, Practice.
With this clarity of thought, maybe I can take what I’ve learned about the game of life to the golf course. Possibly I can play less and practice more. The big difference, living is a serious business; golf is a game!
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