WHO AM I?
WHO AM I?
I can remember those dark days back in 1994 that I really did not know who I was. Have you been there or are you at that point today.
I knew the roles that I played, amongst them husband, father, employer, community volunteer, company leader; roles I played on life’s stage like an actor. Some I played much better than others.
Inside I was a mess and frequently felt like the cartoon character that walks around with a little black cloud over my head. I frequently compared myself to others and took others inventory as a way to make me feel OK. Something inside of me kept saying things were not OK. The most important relationships in my life were crumbling and I was escaping in the ways I knew would work, escaping through the use of mood altering substances and behaviours. I was “spiritually empty. I could go on, but I think some of you will know the place I was at.
I did know my roles in life although I had begun to fail miserably at some of them.
Who was I as a person? Who was I inside? Why was I so discontent and unhappy? Most importantly, how did I get there? Why me? What was the cause? I wasn’t sure who I was but knew I was not happy and did not like the person I had become.
In the language of AA, I had come to a turning point and had to take massive action and it all started with me.
At this point I needed help to become fearless and courageous in that a look at myself and my life. I needed “guides”, both professional and process to get to the bottom of the question and to get some help.
I was given the courage to do both.
I went through a process. In 12 step language it is known as a 4th step. I was coached and guided by people that knew what they were doing. They were trained; they had walked the path before me. They had come out at the other end and were people I respected.
At the end of this process I understood who I was for the first time in my adult life. I understood what had happened to get me to a low I couldn’t handle. I understood life patterns that went way back. I understood my weaknesses but every bit as importantly, understood the strengths and values that were still alive in me.
This massive action allowed me to be in a position to move forward on my journey of life transformation and recovery.
Many say you can get this “free” through a 12 step group, and for many this is true. For my own reasons, at this point in my life, it was not the option that worked for me. (For years I have been a member of a 12 step group). I needed professional help and reached out and got it. It was the single best investment I made in myself bar nothing. I can’t say this emphatically enough. I don’t knock other options but am grateful that I took a path that for me has given me on an increasing basis a me that I love and a life more in keeping with the life I was meant to live.
Do you know who you really are? Are you unhappy with where you are at in life today? Is the mirror your friend or are you uncomfortable looking yourself in the eye?
There are avenues open to you IF you are prepared to take a hard look at yourself then take massive personal action.
If you can identify and want to discuss change, I’d be pleased to talk with you. I’m glad I took the journey and this step. There is more than one way and there is a way that is right for you WHEN YOU make the decision! Coaching and/or therapy are options. (www.hopeserenity.ca; khbray@hopeserenity.ca)
Want to get going so you know the answer to “WHO AM I?”
Friday, January 7, 2011
व्हो ऍम इ?
WHO AM I?
I can remember those dark days back in 1994 that I really did not know who I was. Have you been there or are you at that point today.
I knew the roles that I played, amongst them husband, father, employer, community volunteer, company leader; roles I played on life’s stage like an actor. Some I played much better than others.
Inside I was a mess and frequently felt like the cartoon character that walks around with a little black cloud over my head. I frequently compared myself to others and took others inventory as a way to make me feel OK. Something inside of me kept saying things were not OK. The most important relationships in my life were crumbling and I was escaping in the ways I knew would work, escaping through the use of mood altering substances and behaviours. I was “spiritually empty. I could go on, but I think some of you will know the place I was at.
I did know my roles in life although I had begun to fail miserably at some of them.
Who was I as a person? Who was I inside? Why was I so discontent and unhappy? Most importantly, how did I get there? Why me? What was the cause? I wasn’t sure who I was but knew I was not happy and did not like the person I had become.
In the language of AA, I had come to a turning point and had to take massive action and it all started with me.
At this point I needed help to become fearless and courageous in that a look at myself and my life. I needed “guides”, both professional and process to get to the bottom of the question and to get some help.
I was given the courage to do both.
I went through a process. In 12 step language it is known as a 4th step. I was coached and guided by people that knew what they were doing. They were trained; they had walked the path before me. They had come out at the other end and were people I respected.
At the end of this process I understood who I was for the first time in my adult life. I understood what had happened to get me to a low I couldn’t handle. I understood life patterns that went way back. I understood my weaknesses but every bit as importantly, understood the strengths and values that were still alive in me.
This massive action allowed me to be in a position to move forward on my journey of life transformation and recovery.
Many say you can get this “free” through a 12 step group, and for many this is true. For my own reasons, at this point in my life, it was not the option that worked for me. (For years I have been a member of a 12 step group). I needed professional help and reached out and got it. It was the single best investment I made in myself bar nothing. I can’t say this emphatically enough. I don’t knock other options but am grateful that I took a path that for me has given me on an increasing basis a me that I love and a life more in keeping with the life I was meant to live.
Do you know who you really are? Are you unhappy with where you are at in life today? Is the mirror your friend or are you uncomfortable looking yourself in the eye?
There are avenues open to you IF you are prepared to take a hard look at yourself then take massive personal action.
If you can identify and want to discuss change, I’d be pleased to talk with you. I’m glad I took the journey and this step. There is more than one way and there is a way that is right for you WHEN YOU make the decision! Coaching and/or therapy are options. (www.hopeserenity.ca; khbray@hopeserenity.ca)
Want to get going so you know the answer to “WHO AM I?”
I can remember those dark days back in 1994 that I really did not know who I was. Have you been there or are you at that point today.
I knew the roles that I played, amongst them husband, father, employer, community volunteer, company leader; roles I played on life’s stage like an actor. Some I played much better than others.
Inside I was a mess and frequently felt like the cartoon character that walks around with a little black cloud over my head. I frequently compared myself to others and took others inventory as a way to make me feel OK. Something inside of me kept saying things were not OK. The most important relationships in my life were crumbling and I was escaping in the ways I knew would work, escaping through the use of mood altering substances and behaviours. I was “spiritually empty. I could go on, but I think some of you will know the place I was at.
I did know my roles in life although I had begun to fail miserably at some of them.
Who was I as a person? Who was I inside? Why was I so discontent and unhappy? Most importantly, how did I get there? Why me? What was the cause? I wasn’t sure who I was but knew I was not happy and did not like the person I had become.
In the language of AA, I had come to a turning point and had to take massive action and it all started with me.
At this point I needed help to become fearless and courageous in that a look at myself and my life. I needed “guides”, both professional and process to get to the bottom of the question and to get some help.
I was given the courage to do both.
I went through a process. In 12 step language it is known as a 4th step. I was coached and guided by people that knew what they were doing. They were trained; they had walked the path before me. They had come out at the other end and were people I respected.
At the end of this process I understood who I was for the first time in my adult life. I understood what had happened to get me to a low I couldn’t handle. I understood life patterns that went way back. I understood my weaknesses but every bit as importantly, understood the strengths and values that were still alive in me.
This massive action allowed me to be in a position to move forward on my journey of life transformation and recovery.
Many say you can get this “free” through a 12 step group, and for many this is true. For my own reasons, at this point in my life, it was not the option that worked for me. (For years I have been a member of a 12 step group). I needed professional help and reached out and got it. It was the single best investment I made in myself bar nothing. I can’t say this emphatically enough. I don’t knock other options but am grateful that I took a path that for me has given me on an increasing basis a me that I love and a life more in keeping with the life I was meant to live.
Do you know who you really are? Are you unhappy with where you are at in life today? Is the mirror your friend or are you uncomfortable looking yourself in the eye?
There are avenues open to you IF you are prepared to take a hard look at yourself then take massive personal action.
If you can identify and want to discuss change, I’d be pleased to talk with you. I’m glad I took the journey and this step. There is more than one way and there is a way that is right for you WHEN YOU make the decision! Coaching and/or therapy are options. (www.hopeserenity.ca; khbray@hopeserenity.ca)
Want to get going so you know the answer to “WHO AM I?”
Thursday, January 6, 2011
CAN YOU TURN IT OVER?
CAN YOU TURN IT OVER?
CAN YOU TURN IT OVER?
A small change had started in my life. A journey of transformation had started and I was starting to recover a life I wanted. I had some hope sanity could return to my life.
As I worked through the journey as laid out in the 12 steps, I hit something that called for a tough decision. It was a decision I was not ready for immediately, a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of this higher power thing.
For a person who had lived a life where I believed I was in control; turning my life and my will over to anything was tough thing to contemplate. Without fully appreciating it I tried to control all around me and appreciate today that I lacked trust in myself and others and that it was fear based.
What would happen if I simply turned things that I could not control over to this higher power? Would life start to be like a towel in a dryer? How do I know what I can and can’t control? The thoughts were a little frightening.
At that point in my life, I met a great man and mentor by the name of John Skelly. John coached me through this phase of change and even after I had began to learn how to turn things over and trust a bit; he was a constant reminder to me when I looked to take over too much control.
The most important thing I learned was at this point in my journey, all I had to do was to make a DECISION to try some new behaviour. Ultimately, I tried and found a little at a time that it worked. I had developed a little faith (and faith is not totally rational) in something outside of myself.
To say that things totally changed from this point on would be a stretch. I have had to keep making the decision consciously on a daily basis to turn over issues outside of my control and even today my success is not perfect; no where near it; but life has got better.
In accepting where I was at in life and wanting change; in realising that there was an element of insanity in my life and with help this could chance and in making a decision to try and turn things over to this higher power, things I could not control, a funny thing happened.
I found myself undergoing a significant change in my attitude toward life. I began to feel more balanced and get a bit of serenity. I began to feel hope. I was more “alive” inside than I had been in years. I found the courage to really start looking at causes, not just try to band aid the surface wounds.
From a person who wanted to be in control and run the show; a person who had a lot of internal fear; a person who thought they could fix them self; I had made huge progress. I was able to reach outside of me for help.
If I could do it so can anyone who really wants change. All it takes is the courage to reach out for help and realise you can’t do it on your own but that help in several forms is available! Is it YOUR time to make a DECISION? (khbray@hopeserenity.ca’ www.hopeserenity.ca)
CAN YOU TURN IT OVER?
A small change had started in my life. A journey of transformation had started and I was starting to recover a life I wanted. I had some hope sanity could return to my life.
As I worked through the journey as laid out in the 12 steps, I hit something that called for a tough decision. It was a decision I was not ready for immediately, a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of this higher power thing.
For a person who had lived a life where I believed I was in control; turning my life and my will over to anything was tough thing to contemplate. Without fully appreciating it I tried to control all around me and appreciate today that I lacked trust in myself and others and that it was fear based.
What would happen if I simply turned things that I could not control over to this higher power? Would life start to be like a towel in a dryer? How do I know what I can and can’t control? The thoughts were a little frightening.
At that point in my life, I met a great man and mentor by the name of John Skelly. John coached me through this phase of change and even after I had began to learn how to turn things over and trust a bit; he was a constant reminder to me when I looked to take over too much control.
The most important thing I learned was at this point in my journey, all I had to do was to make a DECISION to try some new behaviour. Ultimately, I tried and found a little at a time that it worked. I had developed a little faith (and faith is not totally rational) in something outside of myself.
To say that things totally changed from this point on would be a stretch. I have had to keep making the decision consciously on a daily basis to turn over issues outside of my control and even today my success is not perfect; no where near it; but life has got better.
In accepting where I was at in life and wanting change; in realising that there was an element of insanity in my life and with help this could chance and in making a decision to try and turn things over to this higher power, things I could not control, a funny thing happened.
I found myself undergoing a significant change in my attitude toward life. I began to feel more balanced and get a bit of serenity. I began to feel hope. I was more “alive” inside than I had been in years. I found the courage to really start looking at causes, not just try to band aid the surface wounds.
From a person who wanted to be in control and run the show; a person who had a lot of internal fear; a person who thought they could fix them self; I had made huge progress. I was able to reach outside of me for help.
If I could do it so can anyone who really wants change. All it takes is the courage to reach out for help and realise you can’t do it on your own but that help in several forms is available! Is it YOUR time to make a DECISION? (khbray@hopeserenity.ca’ www.hopeserenity.ca)
कैन यू तूर्ण आईटी ओवर?
CAN YOU TURN IT OVER?
A small change had started in my life. A journey of transformation had started and I was starting to recover a life I wanted. I had some hope sanity could return to my life.
As I worked through the journey as laid out in the 12 steps, I hit something that called for a tough decision. It was a decision I was not ready for immediately, a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of this higher power thing.
For a person who had lived a life where I believed I was in control; turning my life and my will over to anything was tough thing to contemplate. Without fully appreciating it I tried to control all around me and appreciate today that I lacked trust in myself and others and that it was fear based.
What would happen if I simply turned things that I could not control over to this higher power? Would life start to be like a towel in a dryer? How do I know what I can and can’t control? The thoughts were a little frightening.
At that point in my life, I met a great man and mentor by the name of John Skelly. John coached me through this phase of change and even after I had began to learn how to turn things over and trust a bit; he was a constant reminder to me when I looked to take over too much control.
The most important thing I learned was at this point in my journey, all I had to do was to make a DECISION to try some new behaviour. Ultimately, I tried and found a little at a time that it worked. I had developed a little faith (and faith is not totally rational) in something outside of myself.
To say that things totally changed from this point on would be a stretch. I have had to keep making the decision consciously on a daily basis to turn over issues outside of my control and even today my success is not perfect; no where near it; but life has got better.
In accepting where I was at in life and wanting change; in realising that there was an element of insanity in my life and with help this could chance and in making a decision to try and turn things over to this higher power, things I could not control, a funny thing happened.
I found myself undergoing a significant change in my attitude toward life. I began to feel more balanced and get a bit of serenity. I began to feel hope. I was more “alive” inside than I had been in years. I found the courage to really start looking at causes, not just try to band aid the surface wounds.
From a person who wanted to be in control and run the show; a person who had a lot of internal fear; a person who thought they could fix them self; I had made huge progress. I was able to reach outside of me for help.
If I could do it so can anyone who really wants change. All it takes is the courage to reach out for help and realise you can’t do it on your own but that help in several forms is available! Is it YOUR time to make a DECISION? (khbray@hopeserenity.ca’ www.hopeserenity.ca)
A small change had started in my life. A journey of transformation had started and I was starting to recover a life I wanted. I had some hope sanity could return to my life.
As I worked through the journey as laid out in the 12 steps, I hit something that called for a tough decision. It was a decision I was not ready for immediately, a decision to turn my will and my life over to the care of this higher power thing.
For a person who had lived a life where I believed I was in control; turning my life and my will over to anything was tough thing to contemplate. Without fully appreciating it I tried to control all around me and appreciate today that I lacked trust in myself and others and that it was fear based.
What would happen if I simply turned things that I could not control over to this higher power? Would life start to be like a towel in a dryer? How do I know what I can and can’t control? The thoughts were a little frightening.
At that point in my life, I met a great man and mentor by the name of John Skelly. John coached me through this phase of change and even after I had began to learn how to turn things over and trust a bit; he was a constant reminder to me when I looked to take over too much control.
The most important thing I learned was at this point in my journey, all I had to do was to make a DECISION to try some new behaviour. Ultimately, I tried and found a little at a time that it worked. I had developed a little faith (and faith is not totally rational) in something outside of myself.
To say that things totally changed from this point on would be a stretch. I have had to keep making the decision consciously on a daily basis to turn over issues outside of my control and even today my success is not perfect; no where near it; but life has got better.
In accepting where I was at in life and wanting change; in realising that there was an element of insanity in my life and with help this could chance and in making a decision to try and turn things over to this higher power, things I could not control, a funny thing happened.
I found myself undergoing a significant change in my attitude toward life. I began to feel more balanced and get a bit of serenity. I began to feel hope. I was more “alive” inside than I had been in years. I found the courage to really start looking at causes, not just try to band aid the surface wounds.
From a person who wanted to be in control and run the show; a person who had a lot of internal fear; a person who thought they could fix them self; I had made huge progress. I was able to reach outside of me for help.
If I could do it so can anyone who really wants change. All it takes is the courage to reach out for help and realise you can’t do it on your own but that help in several forms is available! Is it YOUR time to make a DECISION? (khbray@hopeserenity.ca’ www.hopeserenity.ca)
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
ऍम इ इंसाने?
AM I INSANE?
I had not thought this question out very well back in the 90’s. While I did crazy things, the life I was living would have indicated that at times I was nuts, but no one would have considered me insane. I had a responsible job, a family, a home, two or more cars, no debt, volunteered time to causes, etc.
Yet a voice inside kept saying “Keith your nuts” and I fought it. Sure I drank too much at times and drugged some, sure I used other people to make me feel good; but then, wasn’t this “normal” for people in my position? The voice inside said “NOT”.
Today I define insanity in a simple way (and I’m a complicated person trying to live a simple life); you’ve all heard it before; insanity simply is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different outcome.
By this simple definition, I was insane and in the process had lost myself and any self-esteem that I had ever had. Yes I had “stuff” and the outward appearance of “success”, yet I had nothing inside accept that little voice. I was living in a fantasy land and just hoping things would be OK eventually and I was an actor on the stage of life just trying to please family and all those I came in contact with. I could not please me! Not even when I put on my “living” masks.
Finally I sought help. Through a set of circumstances (marriage counselling to please her), I was introduced to a “coach” who understood me. He quarterbacked my recovery over a three year period.
12 step groups were not for a person of my stature in life, yet my “coach” introduced me to the 12 steps under a different terminology. He introduced me, when I was ready, to group therapy and some sharing. He presented the “thought” of treatment (of course with a white collar twist), and eventually checking into a facility became my idea. 16 years ago I was in residential treatment for New Years, a full 3 months after my clean and sober date. I was not ready for 12 step groups YET.
While in treatment, I attended a class on spirituality. I was not and still am not a religious person, but something that was said by the “teacher” sparked inside of me and I went to see her after the lecture.
To keep it simple, I learned what the little voice was inside of me; it was the voice of a power greater than I. Call it what you want, but it was a voice of rationale thinking; the “right” side of right and wrong equation that I had learned to shut down, the voice of Good Orderly Direction, whatever it was, it didn’t matter. It “was” and I began to listen to it. It also opened my mind to 12 step group attendance.
Today, I spend a part of each day in conscious contact with this voice. I talk to it and listen to it. I try to do what it tells me I should do and as best I can, on a daily basis, I give my problems and worries, those outside of my direct control, over to this higher power to handle. I’ve made huge progress, yet there is and always will be a long way to go! I’m work in progress.
The 12 steps tell me that we came to believe a power greater than us could restore us to sanity. I’ve learned this truth.
Once I was coached to understand the insanity in my life, and was coached to find out what the small quiet voice inside was, I became one of those miracles who have been restored to sanity by a power greater than me.
I COULD NOT DO IT ALONE.I COULD NOT FIX MYSELF.
Ever ask yourself if you’re insane? If you are like me and ask the question, it is likely you are! Scary, but this is very common. Look at all the “well known” people around us who have come forward and told us how mental illness has touched their lives.
You have options open to you. One is to continue to do nothing, let the insanity continue, and deprive yourself of self-esteem, self-respect and living the life you are capable of living. This is a selfish cowardly way to live. It hurts others and cheats the world of talent.
Another open to you is to reach out and get the help you need. Depending on whom you are and where you’re at, this help is available in many forms including 12 step groups and the people you will meet there. Personal coaching or counselling are other avenues that can be a good start point. No matter what route you chose, reach out, get help and be prepared to take massive action. There is a power greater than you that can help you find sanity and the internal peace that goes with it. (khbray@hopeserenity.ca; www.hopeserenity.ca).
I had not thought this question out very well back in the 90’s. While I did crazy things, the life I was living would have indicated that at times I was nuts, but no one would have considered me insane. I had a responsible job, a family, a home, two or more cars, no debt, volunteered time to causes, etc.
Yet a voice inside kept saying “Keith your nuts” and I fought it. Sure I drank too much at times and drugged some, sure I used other people to make me feel good; but then, wasn’t this “normal” for people in my position? The voice inside said “NOT”.
Today I define insanity in a simple way (and I’m a complicated person trying to live a simple life); you’ve all heard it before; insanity simply is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different outcome.
By this simple definition, I was insane and in the process had lost myself and any self-esteem that I had ever had. Yes I had “stuff” and the outward appearance of “success”, yet I had nothing inside accept that little voice. I was living in a fantasy land and just hoping things would be OK eventually and I was an actor on the stage of life just trying to please family and all those I came in contact with. I could not please me! Not even when I put on my “living” masks.
Finally I sought help. Through a set of circumstances (marriage counselling to please her), I was introduced to a “coach” who understood me. He quarterbacked my recovery over a three year period.
12 step groups were not for a person of my stature in life, yet my “coach” introduced me to the 12 steps under a different terminology. He introduced me, when I was ready, to group therapy and some sharing. He presented the “thought” of treatment (of course with a white collar twist), and eventually checking into a facility became my idea. 16 years ago I was in residential treatment for New Years, a full 3 months after my clean and sober date. I was not ready for 12 step groups YET.
While in treatment, I attended a class on spirituality. I was not and still am not a religious person, but something that was said by the “teacher” sparked inside of me and I went to see her after the lecture.
To keep it simple, I learned what the little voice was inside of me; it was the voice of a power greater than I. Call it what you want, but it was a voice of rationale thinking; the “right” side of right and wrong equation that I had learned to shut down, the voice of Good Orderly Direction, whatever it was, it didn’t matter. It “was” and I began to listen to it. It also opened my mind to 12 step group attendance.
Today, I spend a part of each day in conscious contact with this voice. I talk to it and listen to it. I try to do what it tells me I should do and as best I can, on a daily basis, I give my problems and worries, those outside of my direct control, over to this higher power to handle. I’ve made huge progress, yet there is and always will be a long way to go! I’m work in progress.
The 12 steps tell me that we came to believe a power greater than us could restore us to sanity. I’ve learned this truth.
Once I was coached to understand the insanity in my life, and was coached to find out what the small quiet voice inside was, I became one of those miracles who have been restored to sanity by a power greater than me.
I COULD NOT DO IT ALONE.I COULD NOT FIX MYSELF.
Ever ask yourself if you’re insane? If you are like me and ask the question, it is likely you are! Scary, but this is very common. Look at all the “well known” people around us who have come forward and told us how mental illness has touched their lives.
You have options open to you. One is to continue to do nothing, let the insanity continue, and deprive yourself of self-esteem, self-respect and living the life you are capable of living. This is a selfish cowardly way to live. It hurts others and cheats the world of talent.
Another open to you is to reach out and get the help you need. Depending on whom you are and where you’re at, this help is available in many forms including 12 step groups and the people you will meet there. Personal coaching or counselling are other avenues that can be a good start point. No matter what route you chose, reach out, get help and be prepared to take massive action. There is a power greater than you that can help you find sanity and the internal peace that goes with it. (khbray@hopeserenity.ca; www.hopeserenity.ca).
AM I INSANE?
AM I INSANE?
AM I INSANE?
I had not thought this question out very well back in the 90’s. While I did crazy things, the life I was living would have indicated that at times I was nuts, but no one would have considered me insane. I had a responsible job, a family, a home, two or more cars, no debt, volunteered time to causes, etc.
Yet a voice inside kept saying “Keith your nuts” and I fought it. Sure I drank too much at times and drugged some, sure I used other people to make me feel good; but then, wasn’t this “normal” for people in my position? The voice inside said “NOT”.
Today I define insanity in a simple way (and I’m a complicated person trying to live a simple life); you’ve all heard it before; insanity simply is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different outcome.
By this simple definition, I was insane and in the process had lost myself and any self-esteem that I had ever had. Yes I had “stuff” and the outward appearance of “success”, yet I had nothing inside accept that little voice. I was living in a fantasy land and just hoping things would be OK eventually and I was an actor on the stage of life just trying to please family and all those I came in contact with. I could not please me! Not even when I put on my “living” masks.
Finally I sought help. Through a set of circumstances (marriage counselling to please her), I was introduced to a “coach” who understood me. He quarterbacked my recovery over a three year period.
12 step groups were not for a person of my stature in life, yet my “coach” introduced me to the 12 steps under a different terminology. He introduced me, when I was ready, to group therapy and some sharing. He presented the “thought” of treatment (of course with a white collar twist), and eventually checking into a facility became my idea. 16 years ago I was in residential treatment for New Years, a full 3 months after my clean and sober date. I was not ready for 12 step groups YET.
While in treatment, I attended a class on spirituality. I was not and still am not a religious person, but something that was said by the “teacher” sparked inside of me and I went to see her after the lecture.
To keep it simple, I learned what the little voice was inside of me; it was the voice of a power greater than I. Call it what you want, but it was a voice of rationale thinking; the “right” side of right and wrong equation that I had learned to shut down, the voice of Good Orderly Direction, whatever it was, it didn’t matter. It “was” and I began to listen to it. It also opened my mind to 12 step group attendance.
Today, I spend a part of each day in conscious contact with this voice. I talk to it and listen to it. I try to do what it tells me I should do and as best I can, on a daily basis, I give my problems and worries, those outside of my direct control, over to this higher power to handle. I’ve made huge progress, yet there is and always will be a long way to go! I’m work in progress.
The 12 steps tell me that we came to believe a power greater than us could restore us to sanity. I’ve learned this truth.
Once I was coached to understand the insanity in my life, and was coached to find out what the small quiet voice inside was, I became one of those miracles who have been restored to sanity by a power greater than me.
I COULD NOT DO IT ALONE.I COULD NOT FIX MYSELF.
Ever ask yourself if you’re insane? If you are like me and ask the question, it is likely you are! Scary, but this is very common. Look at all the “well known” people around us who have come forward and told us how mental illness has touched their lives.
You have options open to you. One is to continue to do nothing, let the insanity continue, and deprive yourself of self-esteem, self-respect and living the life you are capable of living. This is a selfish cowardly way to live. It hurts others and cheats the world of talent.
Another open to you is to reach out and get the help you need. Depending on whom you are and where you’re at, this help is available in many forms including 12 step groups and the people you will meet there. Personal coaching or counselling are other avenues that can be a good start point. No matter what route you chose, reach out, get help and be prepared to take massive action. There is a power greater than you that can help you find sanity and the internal peace that goes with it. (khbray@hopeserenity.ca; www.hopeserenity.ca).
AM I INSANE?
I had not thought this question out very well back in the 90’s. While I did crazy things, the life I was living would have indicated that at times I was nuts, but no one would have considered me insane. I had a responsible job, a family, a home, two or more cars, no debt, volunteered time to causes, etc.
Yet a voice inside kept saying “Keith your nuts” and I fought it. Sure I drank too much at times and drugged some, sure I used other people to make me feel good; but then, wasn’t this “normal” for people in my position? The voice inside said “NOT”.
Today I define insanity in a simple way (and I’m a complicated person trying to live a simple life); you’ve all heard it before; insanity simply is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting a different outcome.
By this simple definition, I was insane and in the process had lost myself and any self-esteem that I had ever had. Yes I had “stuff” and the outward appearance of “success”, yet I had nothing inside accept that little voice. I was living in a fantasy land and just hoping things would be OK eventually and I was an actor on the stage of life just trying to please family and all those I came in contact with. I could not please me! Not even when I put on my “living” masks.
Finally I sought help. Through a set of circumstances (marriage counselling to please her), I was introduced to a “coach” who understood me. He quarterbacked my recovery over a three year period.
12 step groups were not for a person of my stature in life, yet my “coach” introduced me to the 12 steps under a different terminology. He introduced me, when I was ready, to group therapy and some sharing. He presented the “thought” of treatment (of course with a white collar twist), and eventually checking into a facility became my idea. 16 years ago I was in residential treatment for New Years, a full 3 months after my clean and sober date. I was not ready for 12 step groups YET.
While in treatment, I attended a class on spirituality. I was not and still am not a religious person, but something that was said by the “teacher” sparked inside of me and I went to see her after the lecture.
To keep it simple, I learned what the little voice was inside of me; it was the voice of a power greater than I. Call it what you want, but it was a voice of rationale thinking; the “right” side of right and wrong equation that I had learned to shut down, the voice of Good Orderly Direction, whatever it was, it didn’t matter. It “was” and I began to listen to it. It also opened my mind to 12 step group attendance.
Today, I spend a part of each day in conscious contact with this voice. I talk to it and listen to it. I try to do what it tells me I should do and as best I can, on a daily basis, I give my problems and worries, those outside of my direct control, over to this higher power to handle. I’ve made huge progress, yet there is and always will be a long way to go! I’m work in progress.
The 12 steps tell me that we came to believe a power greater than us could restore us to sanity. I’ve learned this truth.
Once I was coached to understand the insanity in my life, and was coached to find out what the small quiet voice inside was, I became one of those miracles who have been restored to sanity by a power greater than me.
I COULD NOT DO IT ALONE.I COULD NOT FIX MYSELF.
Ever ask yourself if you’re insane? If you are like me and ask the question, it is likely you are! Scary, but this is very common. Look at all the “well known” people around us who have come forward and told us how mental illness has touched their lives.
You have options open to you. One is to continue to do nothing, let the insanity continue, and deprive yourself of self-esteem, self-respect and living the life you are capable of living. This is a selfish cowardly way to live. It hurts others and cheats the world of talent.
Another open to you is to reach out and get the help you need. Depending on whom you are and where you’re at, this help is available in many forms including 12 step groups and the people you will meet there. Personal coaching or counselling are other avenues that can be a good start point. No matter what route you chose, reach out, get help and be prepared to take massive action. There is a power greater than you that can help you find sanity and the internal peace that goes with it. (khbray@hopeserenity.ca; www.hopeserenity.ca).
Sunday, January 2, 2011
थे पॉवर ऑफ़ ACCEPTANCE
THE POWER OF ACCEPTANCE
As each new year begins, I love to go through and meditate on the 12 steps. As I constantly tell others, while the 12 steps in the familiar format people look at today come from AA, there is no better model for any human being to follow for good mental hygiene.
Want a better life tomorrow than you have today, start a journey using the 12 steps as your map!
My mentor Dr. Randin Brons just published the following thoughts in his Idea Engineer, and lo and behold they go right to the first step’s theme. ACCEPTANCE. He wrote:
The power of acceptance
"It is permissible to take life's blessings with both hands provided thou dost know thyself prepared in the opposite event to take them just as gladly. This applies to food and friends and kindred, to anything God gives and takes away... As long as God is satisfied do thou rest content. If he is pleased to want something else of thee, still rest content." -- Meister Eckhart
Our life begins to change in magical ways when we open to the experience of life AS IT IS. With acceptance, we stop fighting what is happening. And this creates space, an opening for new relationships to unfold.
Explore unconditionally saying yes to the facts of life. Accept your past and where you are now. Unconditional acceptance is unconditional love and this is healing.
"Sometimes what seems like surrender isn't surrender at all. It's about what's going on in our hearts. About seeing clearly the way life is and accepting it and being true to it, whatever the pain, because the pain of not being true to it is far, far greater." -- Nicholas Evans
Any journey forward begins with what Dr. Brons refers to as unconditional acceptance.
Is there something not right in your life? Something you know you must change? Something that is causing negatives in your life? Is that small quiet voice deep inside constantly niggling at you?
Accept what the problem really is and own it. Then get ready to make the journey of positive change, the co-creative journey of life transformation and life recovery. You’re worth it! (khbray@hopeserenity.ca; www.hopeserenity.ca).
As each new year begins, I love to go through and meditate on the 12 steps. As I constantly tell others, while the 12 steps in the familiar format people look at today come from AA, there is no better model for any human being to follow for good mental hygiene.
Want a better life tomorrow than you have today, start a journey using the 12 steps as your map!
My mentor Dr. Randin Brons just published the following thoughts in his Idea Engineer, and lo and behold they go right to the first step’s theme. ACCEPTANCE. He wrote:
The power of acceptance
"It is permissible to take life's blessings with both hands provided thou dost know thyself prepared in the opposite event to take them just as gladly. This applies to food and friends and kindred, to anything God gives and takes away... As long as God is satisfied do thou rest content. If he is pleased to want something else of thee, still rest content." -- Meister Eckhart
Our life begins to change in magical ways when we open to the experience of life AS IT IS. With acceptance, we stop fighting what is happening. And this creates space, an opening for new relationships to unfold.
Explore unconditionally saying yes to the facts of life. Accept your past and where you are now. Unconditional acceptance is unconditional love and this is healing.
"Sometimes what seems like surrender isn't surrender at all. It's about what's going on in our hearts. About seeing clearly the way life is and accepting it and being true to it, whatever the pain, because the pain of not being true to it is far, far greater." -- Nicholas Evans
Any journey forward begins with what Dr. Brons refers to as unconditional acceptance.
Is there something not right in your life? Something you know you must change? Something that is causing negatives in your life? Is that small quiet voice deep inside constantly niggling at you?
Accept what the problem really is and own it. Then get ready to make the journey of positive change, the co-creative journey of life transformation and life recovery. You’re worth it! (khbray@hopeserenity.ca; www.hopeserenity.ca).
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